Translation of the song lyrics Caro babbo - Marco Masini

Caro babbo (original)

Mi sembravi alto altissimo quando ero piccolino
Eri il mio gigante buono che giocava a nascondino
Mi batteva forte il cuore mentre stavo ad aspettare
Felice di nascondermi ma anche di farmi trovare
Ti sentivo forte e a volte mi facevi un po' paura
Ma eri il mio cavallo docile e il tappeto la pianura
E scendevo e camminavo nelle tue scarpe pesanti
Fra colline di poltrone coi miei passi da gigante
Era dolce era dolcissimo
Lo ricordo e te lo dico
Eri il mio più grande eroe
Eri il primo vero amico
Sei però rimpicciolito i primi anni della scuola
Tornavi tardi a casa e la mamma sempre sola
Mi svegliavo d’improvviso e ti sentivo ancora urlare
Eri sempre più nervoso e non mi stavi ad ascoltare
Altre volte mi picchiavi e le tue parole dure
Spalancavano soltanto una vita di paure
Eri assente e irraggiungibile
Io ti odiavo e te lo dico
Eri in sogno l’uomo nero
Eri a un tratto il mio nemico
E ho portato come un lutto il tuo sangue nelle vene
Ma il mio cuore per dispetto ti voleva ancora bene
E ora babbo te lo scrivo come quando ero bambino
Come quando per trovarci giocavamo a nascondino
E ora è freddo anzi freddissimo
Piango mentre te lo dico
Cosa aspetti ad arrivare
Babbo se mi sei amico
Era dolce era dolcissimo
L’ho capito e te lo scrivo
Quante volte io dovrò morire
Per sentirmi ancora vivo?

(translation)

You seemed very tall to me when I was little
You were my gentle giant playing hide and seek
My heart was pounding as I waited
Happy to hide but also to be found
I felt you strong and at times you scared me a little
But you were my docile horse and the carpet the plain
And I got out and walked in your heavy shoes
Between hills of armchairs with my giant steps
It was sweet it was very sweet
I remember it and I tell you
You were my greatest hero
You were the first true friend
However, you have shrunk the first years of school
You came home late and your mother was always alone
I woke up suddenly and I could still hear you scream
You were getting more and more nervous and you weren't listening to me
Other times you beat me and your harsh words
They only opened up a life of fear
You were absent and unreachable
I hated you and I tell you
You were the black man in a dream
You were suddenly my enemy
And I carried your blood in my veins like mourning
But my heart still loved you out of spite
And now father I write it to you as when I was a child
Like when we used to play hide and seek to find each other
And now it is cold indeed very cold
I cry as I tell you
What are you waiting for?
Santa if you are my friend
It was sweet it was very sweet
I understood it and I am writing it to you
How many times will I have to die
To still feel alive?