| They got drunk last night
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| At a knockdown, drag out fight
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| She was determined and he saw it his way
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| He threw a tantrum and she threw an ashtray
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| They got drunk last night
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| How’s this for a «How do you do?»
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| He’s unfaithful, she’s untrue
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| They’re their own masters and they’re their own bosses
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| They reserve the right to employ double crosses
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| How’s this for a fine «How do you do?»
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| You’d need a chair and a whip
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| To control their relationship
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| Once they were lovers and practically best friends
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| Now he’s into bondage and she’s into revenge
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| You’d need a chair and a whip
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| And if one of them should die
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| I suppose that the other would cry
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| There would be tears of sorrow and great grief
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| Or else there would be tears of release and relief
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| If one of them should die |