Lyrics Krongu Green Slime - Jeffrey Lewis

Krongu Green Slime

Before the land before time, there was a time before land
When the world was just slime, and Krongu was the brand
Yes Krongu green sludge was the popular item
There might have been better sludges, but no-one ever tried 'em
Bought and sold by the platter, green slime by Krongu
It was the most popular matter, it was the most popular hue
It was from sea to sea, it was from dawn to dark
It had thoroughly cornered all of the market
All other colours were in absentia back in BC ten zillion
There was no puce or magenta or chartreuse or cerulean
No red, yellow or blue, well to put it properly
There was green slime by Krongu, it was a total monopoly
If you’d bought stock in there oh for a while it would have sky-rocketed
It would have been mucho deniro that you would have stood to have pocketed
But if you missed out on that ship then you have my sympathies kid
Cos Krongu’s value dipped as those slimy seas did
And land started to pop-up in dribs and drabs at a time
And creatures started to hop-up from the oceans of slime
Krongu’s grip started slipping with this slew of innovations
There was now competition from some new corporations
There were so many styles, and it all seemed so nice
These miles of aisles of life’s merchandise
Some tiny, some giant, some could chirp some could buzz
Rebellious or compliant, with scales, feathers or fuzz
Some were stupid as turnips, some were lowly as corals
Some had high-minded concepts, dreams and ideas and morals
Some were fanged, some were toothless, some were sweet, some were salty
They were popular but useless, they were pretty but faulty
Yes I guess I got fleeced, I got baited and hooked
By each dream and each beast that didn’t work as good as it looked
'cos each one crapped out and broke.
Built to last?
forget it
Get a refund?
that’s a joke, you can’t even exchange for store credit
Someone do some muck-raking, an expose, a news tip-off
This whole store is a heartbreaking, fraudulent rip-off
Forget friends, family, dreams, hearts, trees, birds, dogs, snakes
Forget you, forget me, it’s just cheap stuff that breaks
And in the land after time, and the time after land
They’ll just roll-out the slime in the most trusted brand
When push comes to shove it’ll be Krongu.
No dismissals, no disbarments
No more tears, no more love, no more crew of disposable varmints
'Cos before the land before time, there was a time before land
When the world was just slime and Krongu was the brand
Yes Krongu green sludge, was the popular item
There might have been better sludges, but no-one ever tried 'em