| When I got to the golden city
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| Most of the gold was gone
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| By that time I had some questions
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| So I flagged down a race-car bum
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| He said «Sonny I don’t know where it’s going
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| But I can show you where it all comes from»
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| And he mopped his red forehead and he pointed
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| Straight into the setting sun
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| And people let me tell you
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| That what I then did saw
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| It sent such a shock to my system
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| That I almost fell down dead on the floor
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| 'Cause the sun had a big chunk missing
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| About 24 carats wide
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| And I stared into that hole in the golden sun
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| And you wanna know what I saw inside?
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| I saw a giant toothpick factory
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| And it made my very soul feel sick
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| 'Cause when I say I saw a toothpick factory
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| I mean I saw a factory made out of toothpicks
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| And that factory was a-hoppin' and jumpin'
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| And a-roaring and letting off steam
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| And you know that that ain’t all now
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| Let me tell you what else I seen
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| Behind the factory was a giant mutant monster
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| With sixty-seven seperate tails
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| And each one was wiggling and waving
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| And each one as long as twenty-three whales
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| And at the tip of each towering tendril
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| Were a dozen tiny pencils of lead
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| And each word they wrote was in a different language
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| And when you put them all together they said
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| «You who have arms to wrestle
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| And you who have wars to fight
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| And you who have chips on your shoulders
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| Must now line up and stand to my right
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| But you who are meek and lawful
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| And you who are soft and kind
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| If you don’t want to see something awful
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| Run and get yourself a rock to hide behind
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| 'Cause these colours are just a signal
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| And these colours are just about to fade»
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| And when I read those words I shivered
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| And I saw exactly what the factory made
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| Out of a little doorway
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| At the end of a conveyor belt
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| In the centre of a ring of fire
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| Half the size of a postage stamp
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| Were a million household items
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| Packed into a metal Dukes Of Hazzard lunchbox
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| And they were all shut and sealed and fastened
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| With a gold combination lock
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| And just about every minute
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| Another one came right out of the hole
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| And crashed to the earth beneath it
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| And landed in a lump of coal
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| And every poor coal miner
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| Who happened on a golden stone
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| Was made both richer and wiser
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| And had to murder someone to get it home
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| And then I had to close my eyelids
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| And I had to turn my face away
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| The race-car man was crying
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| And I heard him angrily say
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| «I suppose you want a glass of water
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| I suppose you wanna eat something warm»
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| Ans I said, «Yes but not with you sir»
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| And I ran off to be alone
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| And I sat under a bridge and I wondered
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| What exactly all of these things were
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| And I found I could not even remember
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| What I thought they were before
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| I just want something even
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| Something that won’t cause no fuss
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| The sun can go about its business
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| And leave the rest to us
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| And we’ll call it even
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| And we’ll call it gold |