Lyrics If I Was with a Woman - Ian Dury

If I Was with a Woman

If I was with a woman she’d wonder what was happening
Little things would slowly go askew
If I was with a woman I’d make her quite unhappy
'Specially when she did not want me to
If I was with a woman I’d make believe I loved her
When all the time I would not like her much
If I was with a woman she’d soon become unsettled
I’d show her but I would not let her touch
Look at them laughing
Look at them laughing
Look at them laughing
Laughing, laughing
If I was with a woman I’d never ask her questions
But if she did not want me to I would
If I was with a woman I’d offer my indifference
And make quite sure she never understood
If I was with a woman I’d threaten to unload her
Every time she asked me to explain
If I was with a woman she’d have to learn to cherish
The purity and depth of my disdain
Look at them laughing
Look at them laughing
Look at them laughing
Laughing, laughing
I’ve been with a woman, she took away my spirit
No woman’s coming close to me again
I’ve been with a woman, she took away my spirit
No woman’s coming close to me again
Look at them laughing
Look at them laughing
Look at them laughing
Laughing, laughing, laughing, laughing, laughing
Laughing, laughing, laughing, laughing, laughing…