| I’m Charley, you know
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| I’m Norman pleased to meet you
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| I’m Mickey, hello
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| Wilko
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| I’m Johnny, how are you doing Harry?
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| My name is David
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| And I’m Ian and guess what?
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| Oi!
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| I want to be straight, I want to be straight
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| I’m sick and tired of taking drugs and staying up late
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| I wanna confirm, I wanna conform
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| I wanna be safe and I wanna be snug and I wanna be warm
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| I want to be straight, I want to be straight
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| I wanna create a place of my own in the welfare state
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| Brr, gonna be good, brr, gonna be kind
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| It might be a wrench but think of the stench I’m leaving behind
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| I want to be straight, I want to be straight
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| Come out of the cold and do what I’m told and don’t deviate
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| I wanna give, I wanna give, I wanna give my consent
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| I’m learning to hate all the things that were great when I used to be bent!
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| Could be not straightness
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| Dum dum dilley
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| Might lead to greatness
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| Dur yuh dum der
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| Owing to lateness
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| My chance has only just arrived, ha
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| Ow! |
| Straight, straight, straight, straight
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| Straight, straight, straight, straight
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| Straight, straight, straight, straight, straight
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| I want to be straight, I want to be straight
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| I’m sick and tired of taking drugs and staying up late
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| I know that you’re right, I know I was wrong
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| So thanks very much, please keep in touch, I’ll be rhyming along
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| I want to be straight
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| I want to be straight
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| I want to be straight
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| I want to be straight
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| I want to be straight
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| I want to be straight |