Song information On this page you can read the lyrics of the song Things You Never Hear , by - George Carlin. Song from the album Parental Advisory, in the genre Things You Never Hear |
| Then there are some things you never hear. |
| That makes sense, some things you never hear. |
| You |
| never hear this, "dad, you really ought to drink more." |
| Here's something you don't hear too often. |
| "Do what you want to the girl, but leave me alone." |
| Here is something no one has ever |
| heard ever. |
| Ever. |
| "As soon as I put this hot poker in my ass, I'm going to chop my dick off." |
| You |
| know why you never that? |
| Right! |
| No one ever said that. |
| Which to me is the more amazing thing, |
| no one ever thought to say that before tonight. |
| I'm the first person in the world put those words |
| together in that particular order. |
| First guy. |
| Number one. |
| Here's something you don't hear too |
| often. |
| "Honey, let's sell the children, move to Zanzibar and begin taking opium rectally." |
| "Mom, |
| mom I got a big date tonight. |
| Can I borrow a French tickler from you?" |
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