
Date of issue: 19.11.1990
Age restrictions: 18+
Record label: Laugh.com
Song language: English
Things You Don't Wanna Hear |
Then there are some things you don't want to hear. |
Some thing you just flat don't want to hear. |
You don't want to come home from work and hear, "Honey, remember how we told the children |
never to play on the railroad tracks." You don't want to be sitting in your doctors office and hear |
this. |
"Well Jim, there's no reason why you shouldn't live another twenty to thirty years. However, |
you will be bleeding constantly from both eyes." Here's something I don't want to hear. "I'm |
pregnant, your the father and I'm going to kill all three of us!" "Calm down, have some dip." |
"Honey, it's the police. They have a search warrant, and the three hundred kilos of cocaine are |
still sitting out in the living room." Here's something nobody wants to hear. Nobody wants to |
hear this. |
Try to think back to when this was appropriate to your life. |
You and your fianc have been invited to your mom and dad's house for dinner for the first time. |
Half way through dinner, your fianc stands up and says, "I'll be right back, I gotta take a dump." |
There seems to be no really genteel way of announcing publicly a dump. |
And frankly, I'm not |
impressed with people who tell me what they're going to do when they go to the bathroom in |
the first place. |
Doesn't that bother you? |
People who announce it. |
"I'll be right back, I'm going to |
take a shit!" "Nevermind! |
Do what you have to do and leave me out of it. |
And don't describe it |
when you come back." "Boy, you should have seen..." "Nevermind!" "It set off the smoke alarm." |
"Nevermind!" |
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Coast-to-Coast Emergency | 2006 |
Interview with Jesus | 1981 |
The Suicide Guy | 2006 |
Old Fuck | 2008 |
I Like People | 2008 |
Things We Say When People Die | 2008 |
Dumb Americans | 2006 |
Today's Professional Parents | 2008 |
He's Smiling Down | 2008 |
Dead Parents Helping | 2008 |
The Self-Esteem Movement | 2008 |
Every Child Is Special | 2008 |
People Refuse to Be Realistic | 2008 |
Parents in Hell | 2008 |
Kids and Parents | 1999 |
Extreme Human Behavior | 2006 |
The All-Suicide Tv Channel | 2006 |
A Couple of Other Questions | 2008 |
Goin' Through My Address Book | 2008 |
Posthumous Female Transplants | 2006 |