Lyrics Advertising Lullabye - George Carlin

Advertising Lullabye

Now a lot of these company names and product names are influenced by marketing and advertising people and this next thing is about advertising.
By the way, if you should have any cognitive dissonance about the fact that I do commercials for 10-10-220 and still attack advertising up here, well, you’re just gonna have to figure that shit out on your own okay?
Now this is called “Advertising Lullaby”, keeping in mind of course that the whole purpose of advertising is to lull you to sleep.
Quality, value, styles, service, selection, convenience, economy savings, performance, experience, hospitality, low rates, friendly service, name brands, easy terms, affordable prices, money-back guarantee, free installation.
Free admission, free appraisal, free alterations, free delivery, free estimates, free home trial, and free parking.
No cash?
No problem.
No kidding, no fuss, no muss, no risk, no obligation, no red tape, no down payment, no entry fee, no hidden charges, no purchase necessary, no one will call on you, no payments of interest till September.
Limited time only though so act now, order today, send no money, offer good while supplies last, two to a customer, each item sold separately, batteries not included, mileage may vary, all sales are final, allow 6 weeks for delivery,
some items not available, some assembly required, some restrictions may apply
Come on in for a free demonstration and a free consultation with our friendly professional staff.
Our experienced and knowledgeable sales representatives will help you make a selection that's just right for you and just right for your budget and say, don't forget to pick up your free gift, a classic, deluxe, custom, designer, luxury, prestige,
high quality, premium select, gourmet pocket pencil sharpener… yours for the asking, no purchase necessary, it's our way of saying “thank you”.
And if you act now, we'll include an extra added, free, complementary, bonus gift, a classic, deluxe, custom, designer, luxury, prestige, high quality, premium select, gourmet combination key ring, magnifying glass, and garden
hose, in a genuine, imitation, leather-style, carrying case with authentic vinyl trim… yours for the asking, no purchase necessary, it's our way of saying “thank you”.
Actually, it’s our way of saying “bend over just a little bit farther so we can stick this big advertising dick up your ass a little bit deeper!
Pbbt!
You miserable, no-good, fucking consumer asshole!”