| Everyday you’ll find her out there
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| Crouched down on her knees
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| Rain or shine she spends some time
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| Yet her yard is full of weeds
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| One day while watching from my window
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| And much to my surprise
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| I found out her dirty secret
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| She tried so hard to hide
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| Normal by all appearances
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| No one would suspect
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| The nice old woman from next door
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| Is a filthy wretch
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| She fingers through the soil
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| And she picks the pebbles out
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| Then scoops up a spoonful
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| And pops it in her mouth
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| Consuming clumps of earth
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| She gobbles clots of dirt
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| The grit and grime she eats
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| Gets caught between her teeth
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| Scarfing scum and mulch and muck
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| A frantic feasting binge
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| She stuffs her withered cheeks so full
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| Mud dribbles down her chin
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| She shovels gravel in her face
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| And swallows every bit
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| I’ll bet you that it hurts like hell
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| When she takes a shit
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| Consuming clumps of earth
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| She gobbles clots of dirt
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| The grit and grime she eats
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| Gets caught between her teeth |