Lyrics Dinner Lady - Cabbage

Dinner Lady

I’m a dinner lady
In a private school
Where the lips are so stiff
And Jack Wills is so cool
I wear a baseball cap
And thus branded a fool
But if you piss me off
Then you’ll be eating my drool
When not stealing food
Or hiding in the loos
I’m dragged up on the hot counter to serve a ball of food
A fat teacher approaches
With a wobbly hip
And I politely inform her that we’re all out of chips
She gives me a glare
As I bite my finger tips
I offer new potatoes and she absolutely flips
But then I ponder how hard her life must be
I mean it’s all on a plate
Thanks to mama and daddy
But regardless of the car
And this cushy job
This bitch won’t settle without corn on the cob
And then one day
I got so bored and idle
Served enough sausage rolls to make me suicidal
To combat this state I had a wank in the quiche
And I watched the head master get it stuck to his teeth
Ohhh
I’m a dinner lady
Oh I want a sausage roll
Suffice to say I wasn’t bored any more
And I couldn’t stop my laughing as I scrubbed up on the floor
And next time Jeffery’s mother asked him what he had for tea
He can tell it was a fluid
That once belonged to me
Oh
It’s all for me
I’m a dinner lady
It’s all for me
Oh
I am a dinner lady
Life as a dinner lady
Oh and it’s a true story