| Charles Horton’s pay has doubled to half a million
|
| Despite ongoing travel chaos, strikes, cancelations and delays
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| David McDermott suffered catastrophic injuries, while repairing an overhead
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| light
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| But if his screams are heard by no one, did it really happen?
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| «Well, well welcome to those who joined us in Stalybridge today
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| Please have all tickets and travel documents ready for inspection»
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| «Bow down to my presence, and just so you know
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| I’ve got a CCTV camera strapped to my chest
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| And I’m not afraid to use it»
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| «For the next thirty minutes, I withhold the smallest amount of minute power
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| known to man
|
| But do not make me prove it»
|
| «You've had an opportunity to use your railcard before our boarding boy
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| And you blew it»
|
| It’s a good job the views across the Pennines will be all charming
|
| But for twenty quid, I’d expect nothing less
|
| Err, not that’s a service you provide
|
| Head-resting against the vibrating windows
|
| And a sense of emotion, which in due fairness, is only offered by the train
|
| A network betrayal
|
| A nation failed
|
| Network betrayal
|
| But it’s utter crime that these private companies have their greasy paws on our
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| historic railways
|
| Northern Rail appeal to the more seasoned, bottom set maths, jobsworth
|
| Not to tail them all under the same brush
|
| Heaven forbid
|
| Born in the changes and not up for the same cultural perks as say a musical
|
| festival does
|
| Therefore, why should we be expected to pile our excrement upon someone else’s
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| in the same manner
|
| And give as the power grows smaller
|
| «If you’ve noticed anything suspicious, then please report it to a member of
|
| this train crew»
|
| It is bizarre to know how the tannoy pattern varies depending wholly on how
|
| much the conductor enjoys the sound of their own voice
|
| Clearly a highlight for the blissfully unaware
|
| Who loves to think he is providing much needed local knowledge and humour
|
| I don’t have time to be hanging around Huddersfield station’s lovely little café
|
| I’m on this train because I’ve got actual places to be
|
| A network betrayal
|
| A nation failed
|
| Network betrayal |