| Whoo!
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| Art rap, art rap, art rap, art rap!
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| Whoo!
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| Who better qualified to mediate in the larp discord
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| With my dewy moleskin brewing cauldron and karmic orb
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| I’m fully pantsless like the wooly mammoth from the tar pit gorge
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| Yet I’m David Carradine taking thorazine off the starship oars
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| No godhead in the blog thread stringing this harpsichord
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| No tasteful tunes, just tablespoons of parsnip porridge
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| Of the bleeded ether from the Greenpeacer’s alarmist lore
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| I’m dashing and windblown
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| When the world’s agape
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| And I bookend your smiles with unhappy endings
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| I’m dashing and windblown
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| When the world’s agape
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| Drop orange rind on the war crime set in the crowded ballot
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| With my in-laws and Limbaugh singing a power ballad
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| Their price gouging funds their night outings and flowered phallus
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| More than spider bites we give them writer’s strikes and an endowed outage
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| The ulcer gargle and dulcimer drone are character-driven
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| Like the «no sir» art show, sulfur marble and American women
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| This bonus disk shows my showmanship and parenting acumen
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| I’m dashing and windblown
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| When the world’s agape
|
| And I bookend your smiles with unhappy endings
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| I’m dashing and windblown
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| When the world’s agape
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| Oh what to do
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| Oh what to do when the world we service is a whirling dervish
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| And my sidekick aids his surly cervix he’s burly and girlish
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| And I’m Isaac Hayes on a gurney in Zurich saying
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| «Man up puss! |
| Right now!»
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| We’re telling kids
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| «Oh yes, you can’t»
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| I’m rushed to hair and make-up on the war-torn beachfront
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| Where I narrate stuff like a foreign-born creampuff
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| But I forewarn the teen pups that their core’s worn and pre-shrunk
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| Then in poor form, I triple lutz and I land on my gristle hump
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| But really
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| I’m into spooning and spoonerisms
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| And I make a splash like my hands are two-thirds fish fin
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| Because when I talk it’s like nuclear fission yet it resonates
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| Like a Ferris Bueller ditch party
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| Apply the oil-slick sheen of the Blue Man Group
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| Eat Soylent Green by the two-hand scoop
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| When you see my face at the newsstand booth
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| With plutonium in his thermos
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| I got Obi-Wan disbarred
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| With my phony gun and lip service
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| I earned the large gift card
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| To stir up the stern class kings and nurture the saplings
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| (Yes you can’t… Yes you can’t, can’t)
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| I earn medals dirt-pedal with the facial hair of Burt Reynolds
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| Burnt kettles on my turntables
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| Make sheet music leak coolant
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| When I speak to it |