| I’m at my titty signing at the Barnes & Nobles
|
| You brown-nose but your downloads only show marginal growth
|
| Why do you dress like a lesbian welder?
|
| Only a middle-aged woman looks sexy in elk fur
|
| You get injured at the hipster bar
|
| I hit you with a ninja star and then I speed off in my car
|
| My life is like a day-to-day porn shoot
|
| You’ll mayday for more troops when I say «Sorry Fuckers»
|
| See that girl, she’s a great lay with her scorched roots
|
| Plus she’s got a grade-A horse caboose
|
| That’s my lady! |
| I just squeeze her cheeks
|
| While you sit and twitch like a Jesus freak
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| You’re from Hollywood; |
| you get your sphincter bleached
|
| Sit your ass home and eat your quiche
|
| I’m the dude that your chick would be pleased to meet
|
| She’ll want to suck me off with those beaver teeth
|
| But I decline the offer. |
| I drive a flying saucer
|
| To perform on neighboring moons
|
| And do the giddy-up with some iffy slut
|
| Who’s drinking pick-me-ups out of those Dixie cups
|
| To the young boozer, and the drug user
|
| Put the syringe on the baking teaspoon
|
| That means play this it’ll spike your blood sugar
|
| I’ll have your soulmate tied to the subwoofer
|
| Sorry fuckers, you squares fucked up
|
| Plus your haircut sucks, watch your girl upchuck
|
| Sorry fuckers, we get their thumbs up
|
| Make 'em cry bleed, dry heave
|
| Sorry fuckers; |
| we’ll extract the bitch in you
|
| Sorry fuckers, and dictate what you listen to
|
| Give them face time with unloved ladies' men
|
| Eschewing life through a dumb '80s trend
|
| With a litany of pop culture reference points
|
| My tenor voice will make the women all wet and moist
|
| You act gender bent
|
| While I’m wrestling with women in boxers with leopard print
|
| And yes, that’s me arching a pouring glass at the tee off
|
| Me getting the boarding pass at the kiosk
|
| Me eating fish with French cream sauce
|
| Being celebrated at the confetti toss
|
| I’m waving from the Project Blowed parade float
|
| Completely nude under my raincoat
|
| While you’re in your backpacker entrapments
|
| Battle rapping with a series of gay jokes
|
| You’re welcomed to peep game
|
| But when they start riding the jock they seldom deplane
|
| A deceased cock, a pudding geyser
|
| The hung dong’s the swung baton of the womanizer
|
| But for my bitches it’s a springboard
|
| To a place where dreams are forged
|
| And I’ll smack these geeky young twerps
|
| Out of their medium shirts
|
| Sorry fuckers, you squares fucked up
|
| Plus your haircut sucks, watch your girl upchuck
|
| Sorry fuckers, we get their thumbs up
|
| Make 'em cry bleed, dry heave
|
| Sorry fuckers; |
| we’ll extract the bitch in you
|
| Sorry fuckers, and dictate what you listen to
|
| Give them face time with unloved ladies' men
|
| Eschewing life through a dumb '80s trend |