| I’ve never been the brightest guy
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| You know the ones all the gals look for
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| I used to think Norweigan wood
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| Was a Scandanavian adult book store
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| I recall this fling with a goth metalhead
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| With a pierced labia and purple titties
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| She used to defile me
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| Make me feel lousy and sob while scribblin my little journal entries
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| I’m not out to fuck just malajust
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| Would you be my friend for a thousand bucks?
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| Im no solar panel plated kutcher made of granulated sugar
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| Due to how my confidence allowance sucks
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| I feel I should probably be re-sexed
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| If she makes me wear this full body v-neck
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| But my name is her with an apostrophe s
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| «Rarely do my yoga instructor and therapist both agree on the poor choices that
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| i make in my sex life
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| You know? |
| you get the commemorative tofurky?»
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| Happy inside
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| Happy inside, even though I’m frowning
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| Happy inside, I don’t know why I lie
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| «You know, all my homies need to stop hatin, really.»
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| Our OG looks on cozy nooks
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| Are under seige at the blanket fort
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| We’ve striken fibs of clothes pinned haters
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| With womens lib nomenclature
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| Our dinnerdates accompanied by dialysis machine beeps
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| In your case we should hereby screw while dressed to bee keep
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| What feudal queens are canoodling
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| With this human resource rent a wreck
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| When i scowl at the hole punchers and am gallop poll numbered
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| Say they would rather see my dick in a french press
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| My day is a cheech and chong mis step
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| And my face is a three pronged inlet, come on
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| «Even though, you know, you tried to put my face in a hot waffle iron
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| I still know that you love me inside, and I’m still feeling you»
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| Happy inside
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| Happy inside
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| Happy inside, I don’t know why i cry
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| Blocko blocko blocko blocko
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| Happy happy happy happy (x2)
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| Happy inside
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| Happy inside
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| Happy inside
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| Happy inside, I don’t know why i cry
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| Keep me draped in our calendar becomings
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| ? |
| would show 'ominous' instead
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| Because it’s not likely
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| That when I’m on tour, chillin
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| & i freak with girls
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| Then I sign off on some off-shore drillin'
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| Simply because no broads adore us
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| My dry wit’s due to clogged pores
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| From chalk-board dust
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| Still I’m the shit on the vanity plates
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| On the tour bus for all the wrong reasons, though
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| Like me being an actual turd |