| It’s Christmas
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| Geez, Christmas is terrible
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| I’m never, ever, ever, gonna get it together
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| Dad don’t give a shit
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| And my sisters say whatever
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| All good, I’m cool
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| My mom threw the tree off in the inground pool
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| Some about something cause I’m underage drinking
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| It’s easy sneaking liquor when they’re cooking in the kitchen
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| Woke up, tree side
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| Got the garbage can lid for a ghetto sleigh ride
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| And this could be…
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| (Gingerbread tastes like jäger)
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| The worst Christmas ever
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| (Bitch you don’t know a sled)
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| Everything is better in my ugly Christmas sweater
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| Don’t care what Santa brings won’t send him a letter
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| Make a list and check it twice, it won’t make it better
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| Everything is better in my ugly Christmas sweater
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| My entire family’s on the morning flight to Paris
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| Night before they punished me and sent me to the attic
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| (Go to your room!)
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| Woke up, rolled out
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| Mum forgot about me on the plane and freaked out
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| (Courtney!)
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| Two guys tried to break into my house but I was smarter
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| Set a bunch of traps, set a guy on fire
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| Yeah I, nearly died
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| Mum had to ask John Candy for a ride
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| Wait a second, that sounds really familiar
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| No, no, that’s my family Christmas, that’s what happened
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| Do they even have Christmas in Australia?
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| No…
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| Everything is better in my ugly Christmas sweater
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| Don’t care what Santa brings won’t send him a letter
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| Make a list and check it twice, it won’t make it better
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| Everything is better in my ugly Christmas sweater
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| So, there is this one year
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| And it was Christmas
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| And my brother got karate patches
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| And I really wanted to get karate patches
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| So I thought I was gonna get karate patches
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| And then I didn’t get karate patches
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| Everything is better in my ugly Christmas sweater
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| Don’t care what Santa brings won’t send him a letter
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| Everything is better in my ugly Christmas sweater
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| (your sweater’s so ugly)
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| Don’t care what Santa brings won’t send him a letter
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| Make a list and check it twice, it won’t make it better
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| (so ugly)
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| Everything is better in my ugly Christmas sweater
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| Okay Courtney here’s the part where you sing like Mariah Carey, go, go
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| No I’m not doing it this year everybody made fun of me last year, y-you do it
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| Fine I’ll do it okay ready
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| Why didn’t you tell me you could sing like that?
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| Happy Birthday Hanukkah! |