Lyrics Sittin' Up With The Dead - Ray Stevens

Sittin' Up With The Dead

Well out in the country, we didn’t have mortuaries\nAnd so it was always customary\nFor the undertaker to do his job\nAnd lay your kin out right there at home\nWell the church would loan ya foldin' chairs\nAnd you’d have visitation and everything right there\nBut when the nighttime come you had to sit up with the dead\n'cause it wasn’t right to leave 'em alone\nWell, the last time I sat up was '65\nWhen my old arthritic Uncle Fred died\nHe was 97 and so stooped over the morticians couldn’t straighten him out\nThey used a loggin' chain to hold him down\nAnd covered that all up with a cape and a gown\nAnd didn’t tell nobody in the family\n'cause that’s the kind of stuff folks just don’t want to know about\nWell we were all sittin' there; it was 3 in the mornin'\nAnd then there come up a cloud, a-thunder lightnin' and stormin'\nWell, that lightnin' flashed and that thunder clapped\nAnd that chain 'round old Uncle Fred went 'snap'\nAnd rattled and fell to the floor with a thump\nAnd Uncle Fred just sat right up!\nAnd I ain’t sittin' up with the dead no more\nI don’t know 'bout you\nNo, I ain’t sittin' up with the dead no more\nNo matter what ya say or do\nThey say the dead can’t hurt ya 'cause they already left\nBut what they left can sure make ya hurt yourself\nAnd I ain’t sittin' up with the dead no more\nSince the dead started sittin' up too\nLord, have mercy!\nWell when Uncle Fred sat up, so did everyone there\nAnd there came a great partin' of the foldin' chairs\nAnd that preacher nearly knocked me down, he said\n«Oh, I’m headin' out that kitchen door!»\nI said «Rev, that kitchen ain’t got no door in it!»\nHe said «Don't worry son, it will have in a minute!»\nAnd I ain’t never seen so much jumpin' and shovin' before\nAnd then somebody stepped on an old cat’s tail\nIt let out a scream, a screech, a wail\nAnd to say the least, that howl didn’t help to calm the situation down\nAnd then that lightnin' flashed and that house went black\nAnd I spoke to my feets; I said «Boys, make tracks!»\nAnd I went out that screen door lickety split for town!\nWell I cut through the cemetary, fell in a hole\nIt was Uncle Fred’s grave, and it was dark and cold!\nYeah, the town drunk dug it and he dug it too deep\nAnd unbeknownst to me, he’s still in there asleep\nAnd I’m scratchin' and jumpin' tryin' to get out of that hole\nAnd he woke up and said:\n«You might as well come over here and sit down beside me, boy\n'cause you ain’t gettin' outta here tonight.»\nBut I did!\nAnd I ain’t sittin' up with the dead no more\nI don’t know 'bout you\nNo, I ain’t sittin' up with the dead no more\nNo matter what ya say or do\nThey say the dead can’t hurt ya 'cause they already left\nBut what they left can sure make ya hurt yourself\nAnd I ain’t sittin' up with the dead no more\nSince the dead started sittin' up too\nWasn’t no sense in nobody sittin' up with Uncle Fred anyhow!\nUncle Fred done gonna be sittin' up with his OWN self\nNext time, I’m just gonna send flowers! Yeah