Lyrics Poor Unfortunate Souls (Harry Potter Style) -

Poor Unfortunate Souls (Harry Potter Style)

You know, deep down
You deserve to be punished
Don’t you, Mr. Potter?
I admit I’ve been both vicious and ambitious
They weren’t kidding when they said
«beware that witch»
But you’ll find that nowadays
I’ve mended all my ways
Repented, seen the lumos, made a switch
True?
Yes!
And I fortunately know a lot of magic
It’s a talent that I always have possessed
And at Hogwarts, please don’t laugh
I use it on behalf
Of the Ministry and all that they suggest
You’re welcome
Poor unfortunate souls
In pain
In need
This one craving better teachers
That one wants a pure-blood world
And do I help them?
Yes, indeed
Those poor unfortunate souls
So sad
So true
They come flocking to my office
Crying, «Decrees, Umbridge, please!»
And I help them
Yes, I do
Now it’s happened once or twice
Someone wasn’t playing nice
And I’m afraid I had to
Rake 'em 'cross the coals
Yes, I’ve had the odd complaint
But on the whole I’ve been a saint
To those poor unfortunate souls
Professors here don’t like a lot of blabber
We think a boy who talks back is the worst
In my class it’s much preferred
For students not to say a word
And if you lie, dear
You may find that you get cursed
Come on, I’m not all that impressed
With your handwriting
Be sure to pay attention to your vowels
As you cut and bleed and flay
Learn the lesson for today
It’s he who holds his tongue who passes OWLs
Come on, you poor unfortunate soul
I’m in charge
You’re a jerk!
I’m a very busy woman
And I haven’t got all day
You deserve this:
Get to work
You poor unfortunate soul
It’s sad
But true!
If you want to cross a boss, my sweet
It’s bound to take a toll
Get a clue and get a grip
And use my quill to sign the scroll
I am just so good at punishment
And there is no parole
This poor unfortunate soul