| Everywhere I look it seems like everybody’s pairing off
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| I’m staring at the pairs like they were tits on Lara Croft
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| Even all the dogs I see are clicking so terrific
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| Picking out their favorite puppy’s ass to sniff and stickin with it
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| All the faker single ladies twerkin to Beyoncé
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| Every single one of em is somebody’s fiancée
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| You never spilled your guts. |
| You wanted to yell your say
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| Wait a couple years and try again when they’re divorcees
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| All the gentlemen are trynna get the pussy, wanna make that pelvis scream
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| But when I hit it and I quit it then it never really helps my self-esteem
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| We want some tonsil hockey, but we got hecka cocky
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| Overfished the ocean, so we’re running low on tekka maki
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| Sushi douchey dudes are saying 'do me' but we’re doomed
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| We run away from keepers and go creepin on the goons
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| Most men and women full of crap, need a laxative
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| Want the ass when I’m waxin it, Uncle Sam how I’m taxin it
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| Do a backflip and try to land in it, then abandon it, pretty soon we’re back to
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| I don’t believe in «the one»
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| There’s no such thing as «the one»
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| Wonderland is where I’ll find an Alice who is radical
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| But I’m drunk on Facebook now and diving down that rabbit hole
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| Checkin on my ex and soon I’m creepin on her lover
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| And when the picture buffers I see her new boyfriend’s buffer than me
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| Got those upper pecs his fuckin V-neck couldn’t cover
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| My dick is pretty lonely but my nuts still got each other
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| I suffer, suffer from a habit, yes I’m an addict
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| But someone else is out there, it’s just simple mathematics
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| There’s over 7 billion mothafuckas on the planet and 4 billion of us are of
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| legal age
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| That’s 2 billion ladies, 4 billion tittays, and I bet a couple of em aren’t
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| engaged
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| And I get it you’ve been looking for the one but they been running trynna hide
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| like Kony
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| And you’re gonna find em if you’re getting back into the saddle,
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| baby ride that pony
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| And if you never get over that early lover then it sucks for you
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| Gotta admit that it’s difficult to be watching her with him but everybody want
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| a love that’s true
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| I’m waiting, batin' patiently, yo I’m a catch
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| I’m losing my head, playing musical beds, and looking for «the one» that match
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| I don’t believe in «the one»
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| There’s no such thing as «the one» |