| Among the strangest things I ever heard
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| Was when a friend of mine said «man, let’s get some Thunderbird»
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| I said «what's that? |
| «he just started to grin
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| Slobbered on his shirt, his eyes got dim
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| He said «you got fifty-nine cents? |
| "
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| I said «yeah, I got a dollar, but don’t be a smart-aleck
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| I ain’t gonna spend it on no Indian relic»
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| And he said «Thunderbird's not an old Indian trinket
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| It’s a wine, man, you take it home and drink it.»
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| I said «it sure don’t sound like wine to me»
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| And he said he’d bet me the change from my dollar
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| We hustled on down to the nearest U-tote-M
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| The guy wanted my id, I whipped her out and showed him
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| He got a green bottle from the freezing vault
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| My friend started doing backward somersaults
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| Through the cottage cheese
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| Took it back to his house, started drinkin'
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| Pretty soon I set in to thinkin'
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| «man, this Thunderbird tastes yummy, yummy, yummy
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| And I know it’s doing good things to my tummy, tum…, t…»
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| It’s how you reason when you’re on that crap
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| Got a few more bottles, chugged them down
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| I pulled myself up off the ground
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| Decided I go see my dearest sweet wife
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| Who met me at the door with a carving knife
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| Said «get them damn grape peel from between your teeth.»
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| I could see we’re gonna have a little misunderstanding
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| I said «dear, I better get in touch with you later»
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| She said «forget it, man, you’re never touchin' me again!»
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| Now I’ve seen the light and heard the word
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| And I’m staying away from that ol' dirty Thunderbird
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| A message come from heaven radiant, and fine
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| All I drink now is communion wine
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| Six days a week |