![Don't Slay That Potato - Tom Paxton](https://cdn.muztext.com/i/3284757933473925347.jpg)
Date of issue: 31.12.1984
Record label: Concord, Rounder
Song language: English
Don't Slay That Potato |
How can you do it? |
It’s heartless, it’s cruel. |
It’s murder, cold-blooded, it’s gross. |
To slay a poor vegetable just for your stew |
Or to serve with some cheese sauce on toast. |
Have you no decency? |
Have you no shame? |
Have you no conscience, you cad, |
To rip that poor vegetable out of the earth |
Away from it’s poor mom and dad? |
Chorus: |
Oh, no, don’t slay that potato! |
Let us be merciful, please. |
Don’t boil it or fry it, don’t even freeze-dry it. |
Don’t slice it or flake it. |
For God’s sake, don’t bake it! |
Don’t she’d the poor blood |
Of this poor helpless spud. |
That’s the worst kind of thing you could do. |
Oh, no, don’t slay that potato |
What never done nothing to you! |
Why not try picking on something your size |
Instead of some carrot or bean? |
The peas are all trembling there in their pod |
Just because you’re so vicious and mean. |
How would you like to be grabbed by your hair |
And ruthlessly yanked from your bed |
And have done to you God knows what horrible things, |
To be eaten with full-fiber bread? |
It’s no bed of roses, this vegetable life. |
You’re basically stuck in the mud. |
You don’t get around much. |
You don’t see the sights |
When you’re a carrot or celery or spud. |
You’re helpless when somebody’s flea-bitten dog |
Takes a notion to pause for relief. |
Then somebody picks you and cleans you and eats you |
And causes you nothing but grief. |
There ought to be some way of saving our skins. |
They ought to be passing a law. |
Just show anybody a cute little lamb |
And they’ll all stand around and go «Aw!» |
Well, potatoes are ugly. |
Potatoes are plain. |
We’re wrinkled and lumpy to boot. |
But give me a break, kid. |
Do you mean to say |
That you’ll eat us because we’re not cute? |
(Chorus |
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