Lyrics Poops I'll Pick Up - Tituss Burgess, Leslie Odom, Jr.

Poops I'll Pick Up

Around four?
Since yesterday
What?!
We need to get this dog returned as quickly as possible so people stop
tearing up my park
Wait!
Dad, can we sidebar?
I have a totally unrelated question
You know how you’ve always said we should get a dog?
I’ve never said that in my life, Cole
I know it looks like dog-napping behavior
But trust me dad, I’m this furry guy’s savior
Trapped up in the tower with only Bitsy to nuzzle
Shampagne is like- a way better Rapunzel
And it’s not like I took him, if anything he took me
He took my breath away when he was taking a pee
Putting aside, this is probably against the law
That’s just a tiny flaw
Son, you can’t have a dog
Let me keep this dog and I will never not walk him
I know that’s a double negative but I’m smart and
I’ll take him to the veterinarian when he’s ill
I’ll get some peanut butter to help him swallow his pill
Right now, he’s a lapdog in the lap of luxury
But he shouldn’t be cooped up
He should be out there running free
Look at his eyes, can’t you see that he’s sad, man?
I’ll clean up his poops
You can call me Mr. Bag Hands
Mr. Bag Hands?
When he poops, I’ll pick it up
You’ll pick it up?
I’ll pick it up
When he poops, I’ll pick it up
No, you won’t
I will, I love that dog
Son, we gotta think about the consequence
What if we are sent to doggy jail for this?
Can’t keep this dog
Papa, I believe this puppy’s heaven-sent
I promise to pick up his every excrement
He has a home
We have to give him back
I’ll take good care of him
We’ve been discussing that
We can’t keep him
That’s not part of the plan
We have to keep him
He makes me wanna be a better man
Please, Dad!
When he poops, I’ll pick it up
No
I’ll pick it up
When he poops, I’ll pick it up
Not that it matters, but no, you won’t
I love that dog
Son, we gotta think about the consequence
What if we are sent to doggy jail for this?
Can’t keep this dog
Papa, I believe this puppy’s heaven-sent
I promise to pick up his every excrement
(spoken)
All right, so it’s settled.
We’re keeping him
No, it seems like he’s gonna be really great to have around
No
He’s my best friend
Doesn’t matter
I love you, dad
I love you too, Son
We’re not keeping the dog