| Folks today don’t see my way
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| Though the flora is sure to be a nice array
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| And my children tell me no
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| They got their people to see
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| They got a place to go
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| Does it make me sad?
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| Does it hurt old dad?
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| Or should I go with the flow?
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| Flowerbeds with turtleheads got me
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| Spinnin' and a grinnin' when the bloomin' spreads
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| Hey, another turtle-geek
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| No wait, that’s just a fella' tryna take a leak
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| Guess it’s only me
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| That’s a devotee
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| But am I enough?
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| What if I own it?
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| Wanna be like
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| Wanna be like someone who can own it
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| Wanna get to
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| Wanna get to a point where I can
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| Dance like a dad with my shirt tucked in
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| Like it doesn’t look bad when the cramps set in
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| I’m gonna own it
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| And my name is
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| Yeah, my name is Owen and I own it
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| And I like my
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| And I like my flowers when they bloom
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| In the moon like the fruit of the loom
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| You can say I’m a loon but I’ll celebrate my turtleheads and own it
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| Guess my boss assumes I’m soft
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| So I’ll go to this and show him I can write my ass off
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| If only he’d assign real news
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| Instead of fluffy-fluff and beauty stuff and style reviews
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| That’s a minor glitch
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| 'Cause I’ve got the itch
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| And a lot to prove
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| I’m gonna own it
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| Gonna kick in
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| Gonna kick the door in like I own it
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| Gonna bust in
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| Gonna bust in headfirst like a badass boss lady mom of two
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| Like a one chick Bernstein and woodward too
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| I’m gonna own it
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| Gonna get in
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| Gonna get in hone it and then own it
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| Gonna put my
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| Gonna put my foot down like my pits and my bits aren’t shvitzin' now
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| And a holy cow 'cause I’m fin’ly gonna show 'em how I own it
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| «I'm offering a reward of 50, 000 dollars to whomever finds Shampagne»
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| «In fact, you know what? |
| Make it 60, 000»
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| «Wait no 55, 55, 000»
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| «Print that! |
| Your news monkeys, or post it or like it or whatever»
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| «The dog was last seen in Central Park»
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| «Oh, let me out here!»
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| Is it weird to hide in the shadows?
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| Is it weird to follow so close?
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| Is it so weird I know where he goes?
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| Ohh
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| Is it bad I have this affection?
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| Is it bad I can’t look away?
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| If I don’t tell would that be okay?
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| (Hey, hey)
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| C’mon be boldfaced
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| Be daring or never own it at all
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| Never own it at all
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| «Helen, hold this»
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| I’m gonna own this
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| 'Cause whenever
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| Yeah, whenever Bitsy dies I’ll own this
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| I don’t miss you
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| Little shih tzu
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| Now that you are gone
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| I’ll be next in the heirloom line
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| And all the furniture you see here is mine, mine, mine
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| I’m gonna own it
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| And I’m gonna
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| Yeah I’m gonna be the one to own it
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| Gonna bathe in
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| Gonna bathe in hundred dollar bills
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| With a man who looks like Magic Mike
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| While I nibble on the kibble that I know you like
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| I can also sing!
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| A new best friend for Cole
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| Be boldfaced and daring
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| I will be the one in control
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| So my dreams come true
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| So I get what I want
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| And my little dog, too
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| I’m still here
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| Raise awareness for turtleheads
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| I’ll be free to openly stare
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| Be a billionaire
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| It’s totally healthy how much I care
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| Now I gotta
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| Now I gotta own it! |