| Ye beware thy animals
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| Thou art foul machines
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| King Kong Bible
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| (Toilet reader)
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| Some people say there’s something
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| Wrong with me and the animal kingdom
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| I tell them because they don’t know
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| We’re being observed
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| When you’re at my apartment, don’t pet them
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| Don’t let them know we’re on to them
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| And I tell my wife, «Madalin, don’t let them in»
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| It’s not easy trying to convince
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| People of the conspiracy
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| At least the NRA believes me
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| I say there’s still a chance to pile them up
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| A building sized mound of burning fur
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| I decided to make a trip
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| To Binder Park Zoo yesterday
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| I threw letters into the cages saying
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| «I know who you are
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| Tell God to please leave me alone»
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| I can’t watch, I can’t think, what’s going wrong?
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| The cockroaches in my cupboard
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| Are always smiling at me
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| When I reach for the corned beef
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| I can’t read, I can’t sleep
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| What’s going wrong? |
| Even with my pets
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| Dogs and cats among them
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| 'Cause everybody knows pets
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| Are just camcorders for God, staying close
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| Watching and filming my actions
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| Drunk in the bathroom
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| Smiling in my car
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| On the sidewalk asking for a cigarette
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| Or even when I’m good
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| Betrayed by my cat, I swear
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| It’s always my cat, always my cat |