Lyrics The Chairman Rolls Again - The Stupendium

The Chairman Rolls Again

Player: I… I don’t remember these rules…
Chairman: Trust me, Scrabbopoly is the only way to play… oh!
I won a beauty
contest!
Oop, just a minute!
Dan Bull: If any other Youtuber wants to challenge me to a Scrabble match,
they can make a video, and call me out, before I make a decision.
So if you guys have a favorite Youtuber that you love watching,
and would love to see gird the board with me, the Scrabbull, then let them
know people, let them know.
But not Jake Paul because Jake Paul is literally
(fades off)
Dan…
It’s…
Admirable, you want to battle at Scrabble
But are you after a challenge?
Or do you just dabble?
You may do fine against the rest of the rabble
But to grapple my talent you best be grabbing your saddle
If you tackle me!
The grammatical cavalry!
Alphabetical stampede, to trample my adversaries
On a valiant steed that I papier-mached
From all the villains I’ve slayed, and Oxford dictionary pages
I’ll tea bag you with my tile bag, anarchy!
I top the tables every tabletop fantasy league
Any letters on my rack for you would spell calamity
Call me Elphabet, my skill’s defying gravity
I’ve got a filter to prevent Spam
I guess you got through because you’re cheese and ham
So when I lay you out on the board
Well, I guess you could call me an artisan
Sure on YouTube, you might be the man
But you’ve got a lot of beef for a vegan, Dan
Go rap about Fortnite, appease your fans
Or be spread too thin, like a teeny jam
Got-to war with the Chairman of the Board?
Delusional!
You see crappy letters?
It’s my score in numerals
There’s a reason there are seven tiles in funeral
Hate to say it, Dan, playing Junior isn’t usual
How to get it through to you?
I’ll talk in terms of PUBG
It’s a 100 to 1 that you could touch me
Thanks for the collab, I don’t need your fans to buff me
I’ve got a Q and I don’t need U to succeed
That’s a lot of fans, man.
The buzz is deserved
But I’ve never seen anyone buy a T-Shirt???
I’ve got a swarm now, so I’ve got a bee herd
And when I’m dissing you, I’m not afraid to use the P-word
Pusillanimous, pathetic, purely pacifist
Throws a punch precisely with the power of a platypus
Smack you so hard it’s like I crammed you in the Animus
So then you’ll understand that you’re as crappy as your ancestors
An Adder on a bird of prey’s platter
And in that situation, you’re the snake, I’m the latter
Pick any board game, I’ll leave you in tatters
No going overboard when I battle ship rappers
On ERB you RP’d some dead Britons
Mess with me, eventually, you’ll end up dead with 'em
Or at the very least temporarily bed-ridden
Incidentally, NicePeter, my rhymes are well-written!
You’re just a chicken, stink of Pew-55y
Hit me up, I’m chilling sipping Brut '55 wine
Gonna rebuttal me douglby?
What’s your pipeline?
Oh, you need to phone a friend?
You want a lifeline?
I’ve got a 9 to 5 and I can find time
I do my videos myself in the night time
Haven’t slept a wink in months, I think it’s high time
To take a nap, but I’m always up for fight rhymes!
I like to think we’re mates, right?
Play fight?
Games Night, makin' like we’re fighting in the daylight
Farm a little drama, gotta get the clickbait hype
Berate my rhymes but simultaneously parade my
Face on your channel in the hopes your fanbase might
Come over to mine, maybe drop a like, say «Hi!»
But wait right there, Dan, Scrabble is a way of life
Let a player get away, you’ll never see that day arrive
So come on Dan Bull, you think you’re a handful?
I’m settling Catan, you’re in a jam with Screwball Scramble
Happenstance that your battleplans were in anagrams
Your name’s an anagram for your skills: Bad Null
This was a Risk, but guess who’s Bold?
I’m a Hungry Hippocrite, squeezing views out of insults
Meet me on the board, no proper nouns involved
I don’t have your subs, but can pronounce «evolve»
A spot of Pictionary, can you pass the trial?
It’s a pic depicting me the victor by a mile!
I’ll crush you with a flippin' dictionary and all the while
I’ll be writing your obituary in little wooden tiles…
Chairman: Uh, where were we?
Erm.
Oh!
Roll for Initiative!
Oh, you’ve hit a
snake!
In the kitchen!