Lyrics A Matter of Facts - The Stupendium

A Matter of Facts

JT set a challenge.
I’m here to answer it
You want facts?
Boy, well you asked for it
I’m gonna give ya' some trivia mastery
And put the facts on blast til' class dismissed
It’s the truth, ain’t no party trick
I’m bringing facts to the web like Encarta did
So get your notebooks out, you can quote the track
It’s not a trivial pursuit, it’s a matter of facts
Please have your pen and paper ready
The facts will commence in 3. 2. 1
Facts
Black-thighed falconet, world’s smallest bird of prey
Giraffe’s neck may be long but only seven vertebrae
That’s the same as you would find in anybody, you or me
But can you eat 75 pounds of leaves a day?
The opposite of Deja vu is Jamais vu
When something familiar seems strangely new
A smilodon is what you’d really call a sabre-tooth
And they were nothing like tigers, to say the truth
A reindeer’s eyes go through a range of hues
They’re gold, but in winter change to blue
There are more hats in Team Fortress 2
Than there are real forts in the whole E. U
'Fort Boyard' took 56 years to complete
So by the time that it was built, forts were obsolete
But since the 90s you will find it’s been in use constantly
As the setting of a game show on TV
That’s the sound of a Honda for Indy’s boulder dash
No one really knows the etymology of 'Balderdash'
Escobar had so much gold to stash
He spent thousands on rubber bands just to roll the cash
A group of Jellyfish is called a 'Smack'
A safety helmet was the purpose of the Bowler Hat
You don’t feel pain if you’re a naked mole rat
39 is the record for the oldest cat
Buckle up, this one’s a little morbid
In the 50s laugh tracks were recorded
So if a new show has a canned laugh audience
There’s a good chance that the laughers are all dead
There’s no letter B ‘til you get up to a billion
An ice-cream tester had a tongue insured for millions
Ninety-nine zeroes in a duotrigintillion
Ninety-nine sides is an enneacontakaienneagon
Annually we make seven billion zips
To dot an 'I' is a 'Tittle', on a die it’s a 'Pip'
Tommy Cooper died live, in the middle of a quip
But my granddad once taught him how to build a ship
J is the only letter that is not in any element
The White House got power when Harrison was president
But he never touched the switches, he was scared of them
Relevant, Thomas Edison killed an elephant
There was no electricity in Ethiopia
'Til 1896 when the Emperor
Ordered a brand new electric chair
And realised they couldn’t plug it in anywhere
The world’s first batteries may have been Roman
Three percent of all the world’s cheese gets stolen
Figs use wasps to spread their pollen
But the wasps get trapped and the figs dissolve them
A strawberry is not a berry.
In any way
But bananas are and share half of all our DNA
The first fruit eaten on the moon was canned peaches
From canned peaches on to grand speeches
«We will fight them on the beaches!»
Great speech, can’t be debated
Except the fact that Winston Churchill never really made it
Yeah, he wrote it and performed it for the government of course
But the version that you’ve heard was made years after the war
He was Dippy Dawg, before he was Goofy
Scarecrows were once called 'Hobbidy-boobies'
Jordan and Bugs once advertised shoes, these-
-ads got so popular they went and made a movie
Green screen make VFX a dream
But did you know that years ago they used a yellow screen?
Special sodium lamps on a plain white fill
Make a certain shade of yellow that’s invisible on film
'In Disney’s Mary Poppins, Mary Poppins says Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
backwards
Is Dociousaliexpilisticfragicalirepus
But that’s just the syllables reversed.
Letter for letter, it’s:
Suoicodilaipxecitsiligarfilacrepus
And if you think I’m saying that on the beat, you’re mad…
And that’s a fact
There are more ways to stack a deck of cards
Than the galaxy has stars
And each year we eat so much Nutella
That you could span the Great Wall of China with the jars.
(8 times!)
Coca Cola sell so many drinks worldwide
That measuring profit just won’t suffice
So 'Share of Throat' is a scale they devised
For the percentage of humanity’s hydration they provide
Memetics is the study of shared ideas
And it’s where the word ‘Meme' first appeared
Johnny Cash was a radio engineer
And when Stalin died he was the first to hear
(It's a matter of fact)
That in the wild there are less flamingos
Than there are plastic ones on lawns
(It's a matter of fact)
The man who invented the tube for Pringles
Had his ashes buried in one
(It's a matter of fact)
Every second 5000 statuses are updated
(It's a matter of fact)
4000 new stars are created
(It's a matter of fact)
Every single second takes hours when animated
(It's a matter of fact)
I’m gonna stop now or I’ll never ever make it
If you set a challenge I am bound to react
JT, this has been my counter-attack
If you saw it through, have a pat on the back
It’s not a trivial pursuit, it’s a matter of facts