| There’s a county map to go on the wall
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| A hurling stick & a shinty ball
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| The bric, the brac, the craic & all
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| Lets call it an Irish pub
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| Caffreys, Harp, Kilkenny on tap
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| The Guinness pie & that cabbage crap
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| The ideal wannabee Paddy trap
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| We’ll call it an Irish pub
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| Whale, oil, beef, hooked! |
| I swear upon the holy book
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| The only 'craic' you’ll get is a slap in the ear
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| Whale, oil, beef, hooked! |
| I’ll up & burst yer filthy mug
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| If you draw one more shamrock in me beer!
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| We’ll raise the price o' beer a dollar
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| We’ll make em wear a shirt & collar
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| We’ll fly a bloody tri-colour
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| And call it an Irish pub
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| Jager bombs & double shots
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| The underagers think its tops
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| We’ll spike the drinks & pay the cops
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| We got us an Irish pub
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| The quick one in the filthy bog
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| The partin' glass across the lug
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| O' the lady-O, the dirty dog
|
| We got us an Irish pub
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| It’s over to me and over to you
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| We’ll skip along the Avenue
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| And who t’hell is Ronnie Drew?
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| We got us an Irish pub
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| Plasma screens & neon lights
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| Kara-farkin-oke nights
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| The bouncers they can pick the fights
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| We’ll call it an Irish pub
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| Plastic cups, a polished floor
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| We’ll hose the blood right out the door
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| And let the knucklers back for more
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| We got us an Irish pub
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| Oh top o' the mornin', Garryowen
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| Kiss me I’m Irish, Molly Malone
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| Failte, Slainte, Pog ma thon
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| We got us an Irish pub
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| Spike the punch & strip the willow
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| Strike me up the rakes o' Mallow
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| The Liffey never ran so shallow
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| We got us an Irish pub |