Lyrics Box Full of Darkness - The Jokerr, Blackwaltz

Box Full of Darkness

I’m a box full of —
Darkness, darkness, darkness, darkness (3x)
Im a box full of —
Things that you should never see
(and in a moment I might explode)
And I’m gonna spill upon the ground, all the pain like blood and —
(and they’we been warned)
Just exactly what I’ve been speaking of when I —
Sing I’m a box full of —
Darkness, darkness, darkness, darkness
I’m a box full of —
Darkness, darkness, darkness, darkness
Okay, back when I was young there was love lost
Between me and my dad, it was cut off
When I saw mom with her skull cracked in
Next to me on the bed in a puddle full of blood sauce
Locked in a room and screaming
Try’na wake her up but she just kept bleeding
He rolled her on her side so she didn’t choke on her tongue
And she woke up soaked from dry heaving
He took a look around the room and his boy
And his wife and he said 'fuck this, I’m leaving'
Unplugged the TV and the VCR
Then he disappeared in the evening
Left the 8-year-old Aithen alone in the house
Looking for the car keys and
Covered in blood, helping mother to the car
So she could drive herself to the ER for treatment
And one year before that I was sitting up in a crackhouse
With a crackwhore babysitting me
And watching my dad smoke a pipe on the couch
With this hooker giving him head, I remember so vividly
And then came a knock at the door
The SWAT, like 30 cops deep coming in like the infantry
He scrambled to the back door, two shots and he stopped
And his track said 'don't shoot', the intensity
Was so great that I blacked out
And I woke up in a squad car, next thing
I knew my grandparents are picking me up from the precinct
My asthma had me out of breath and confused
And before I knew he was locked up and mommy said
'daddy ain’t coming home'
And 12 years later I was sitting in the
ICU with a cracked face of my own, huh…
And I go deep in my mind
And see just what I can find
All of my darkest memories
Constantly play and rewind
And I’m just sitting here
Thinking about my mom I lost my senior year
From a heart attack
Right in front of me and my sister
And it’s clear that this was the start
Of a downward spiral with drugs
And nameless substances in abundance
In front of us, yeah, I fucked this up
It didn’t matter what it was
I just fix it and shoot it up
Or crush it down, make a couple of rails
And then just them up
Looking back, this shit makes me cringe
And it’s fucking disgusting
Even tried to hang myself
But my homie found me and cut me
Down and *BLAOW* and my feet hit the ground
I was so fucking happy to be alive
My heart was pounding and well
I’ve been clean ever since
Quit my daily regimen
Then 8 years later I moved back in with my sister again
And she was still getting fucked up on Seroquil and Oxy’s
Regardless of how hard we tried to get her to stop
She just wouldn’t listen…
She died of accidental overdose
And it kills me that her children
Are the ones who found her comatose…