| It’s Halloween night and no one’s gonna find you
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| Halloween night, we’re creeping right behind you
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| You can try to run, you can try to hide
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| But Halloween night, it’s pointless cause we’re everywhere
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| We’re everywhere, we’re everywhere
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| Yo, look look look
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| It’s Halloween night, and I’m looking like a zombie
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| Arms out, mummy wrap-stretch dragging behind me
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| Some little kid stepped on it, it clothed-lined me
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| Spun me around, I fell down on my hiney
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| Boom! |
| Pelvic bones shattered into pieces
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| Back to my feet, skin cracking in the leaflets
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| Stinking like a non-refrigerated meat locker when the heat hits
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| Mixed with nursing home sheet shits
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| Feet just crackling, shin bones fragmented
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| Eye balls hanging out, optic nerves dragging them
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| All I wanna do is find some little punk bastard and
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| Grab him by his rib cage and squeeze it 'til I crack it in
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| My curse happened when I got a little naughty
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| Hit the ancient Egyptian wizard’s mistress and he caught me
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| Now I’m trying to rest in peace but he just won’t let me
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| Instead I’m roaming the streets harvesting souls every Halloween
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| It’s Halloween night and no one’s gonna find you
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| Halloween night, we’re creeping right behind you
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| You can try to run, you can try to hide
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| But Halloween night, it’s pointless cause we’re everywhere
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| We’re everywhere, we’re everywhere
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| Look, look look
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| Now every single Halloween I know what the task at hand is
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| But every year it’s getting harder and harder to manage
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| See back in the day I could just run up and be like ah
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| They’d shit their pants and run screaming and then I’d grab 'em
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| But now those old tactics don’t seem to be as functional
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| And I’m on a schedule, be damned if I ain’t punctual
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| I gotta try something new, here this skunk should do
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| I spray 'em and track 'em down with the scent of its funky spew
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| Get over here (hiss, screams) ah, it bit me
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| Ass blasted my face and ran into a bush quickly
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| Wait, that wasn’t a skunk (shit!)
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| It was a damn raccoon dressed like a skunk for a Halloween function
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| Now I’m getting flustered, time to make a plan B
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| I got it! |
| I’ll hang myself up from a damn tree
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| They’ll think I’m a decoration and when they come exam me
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| I’ll cut myself down and spring it on 'em like Bambi
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| It’s Halloween night and no one’s gonna find you
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| Wait, hold up, hold up. |
| Did you just say, «spring it on 'em like Bambi?»
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| (Yeah yeah, I… because like remember in Bambi…)
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| Bro?
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| (Not the verb to spring, but like the actual season?)
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| No I get it, I get it
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| (I kind of did like a double entendre there)
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| Do you realize how elaborate of an inference that is, to process?
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| (No, remember when all the animals were twitterpated, it was spring, get it?)
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| Oh my god. |
| Dude, why you making a Bambi reference in a Halloween track anyway?
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| (I don’t know man, I personally thought it went kinda hard)
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| No situation exists in which that line can be considered hard
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| (Ah, I thought it was dope)
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| I hate you
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| It’s Halloween night and no one’s gonna find you
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| Halloween night, we’re creeping right behind you
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| You can try to run, you can try to hide
|
| But Halloween night, it’s pointless cause we’re everywhere
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| We’re everywhere, we’re everywhere
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| Look, look
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| Its Halloween night, and I’m chasing after children
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| Ran up on a sixth grader dressed up like a Pilgrim
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| Jumped out like (Gggrrr) he grabbed his brass hot bill clip
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| And punched me in the teeth while his homies sat there and filmed it,
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| like (WorldStar…)
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| He uppercut me with his bag of candy
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| My head went flying through the air like a banshee
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| I’m watching my body trip over shit like a panzy
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| My head’s rolling down the street cussing like Chef Ramsey
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| I finally got my head on straight, I’m on the hunt again
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| Here come a Girl Scout troop, I jumped out in front of 'em
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| One of 'em ducked and stuck out a leg when I went to lunge at 'em
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| I tripped, looked up they all were holding clubs and started pummeling
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| Finally got up and then some other little cocky kid
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| Kicked my crotch and squished my balls like a couple rotten figs
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| I slumped in pain, he double front-kicked my esophagus
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| Onto a car, and Randy Orton RKO’d me off of it |
| When I regained consciousness, all I saw was a wall of 'em
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| Some girl dressed up like a witch, hit me with a cauldron
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| I went flying backwards like fifty feet to my astonishment
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| That shit was real iron, how’d she have the strength toss the shit
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| I turned around and saw all of their eyes glowing
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| Heard a wolf howl and felt a sudden gust of wind blowing
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| Now I’m surrounded by 'em, they’re closing in, I’m already scared
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| They’re coming out the trees and the bushes, oh god, they’re everywhere
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| It’s Halloween night and no one’s gonna find you
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| Halloween night, we’re creeping right behind you
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| You can try to run, you can try to hide
|
| But Halloween night, it’s pointless cause we’re everywhere
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| We’re everywhere, we’re everywhere
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| Aight dude, hold up, hold up
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| (What?)
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| Can we talk about this… Randy Orton, really?
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| (What it’s funny, I said Randy Orton)
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| You, you don’t even like wrestling
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| (Well it was a hilarious illustration)
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| Yea yea, but again, Halloween track
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| (Come on)
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| Horror stuff, scary things
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| (Come on)
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| First you’re talking about Bambi
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| (So?)
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| And now you’re talking about professional wrestling
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| (It was funny)
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| Which you don’t even care about
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| (Hey that… that's not true, I like professional wrestling
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| I mean when I was a little kid I used to really be into N.W.A.)
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| Oh my god
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| (And, the, uh, the massive man, uh, uh, Randy Sausage or whatever)
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| Bro, this is how much you know about wrestling, that kid wasn’t even dressed up
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| like Randy Orton
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| (Really?)
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| No he wasn’t. |
| And that’s another reason why you’re stupid for using that line
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| (Well who was he dressed up like then?)
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| You know
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| (No I don’t know)
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| Dude, just think about it
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| (Well Randy Orton was who I thought it was so if you’re telling me it’s not him
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| then I don’t know)
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| Bro, you really don’t know?
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| (No, I don’t, stop playing this game just tell me who it was)
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| Dude, you’re unbelievable, alright, I’ll tell you who it was
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| (Thank you)
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| The wrestler from earlier in the song wasn’t actually Randy Orton
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| It was
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| JOHN CENA! |