| Oh Schno!
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| I can’t watch things based on true events
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| 'Cause I’ll get trapped on Wikipedia
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| Eight hours readin' about Fred Hampton
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| I’ve been trapped on Wikipedia
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| Don’t set me free
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| I need to know all about the Great Stink
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| Oh, why would I ever go to sleep?
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| When I can become a scholar of the Manx Loaghtan sheep?
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| (They're native to the Isle of Man)
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| (One second, let’s see what the Isle of Man is)
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| I can’t watch things that are fictional
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| 'Cause I’ll get trapped on Wookieepedia
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| Six hours learnin' about Coleman Trebor
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| Yeah, I’ve been trapped on Wookieepedia
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| I don’t care if you disapprove
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| I’ll be an expert on Yarael Poof
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| Oh, what would I stop to eat dinner for?
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| When I’m studying the Purge of Mandalore?
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| You might think that readin' all these facts
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| Have made me the smartest man on the planet
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| But in a couple days, I’ll forget anyway
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| And be back on Wikipedia, damn it, damn it
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| I can’t walk and look around at things at all
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| 'Cause I’ll be trapped on Wikipedia
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| Ten hours later and I’m on Charles de Gaulle
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| Yeah, I’ve been trapped on Wikipedia
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| Just let me be, I’m sightseein' in Tuscany
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| Oh, I’ll never go to sleep
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| 'Til I can tell a dugong from a manatee
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| I cannot function in the world today
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| Because I’m trapped on Wikipedia |