| May the Lord upon high who rules the sky
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| Look down on our pubs and bars
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| And the women and men all seated within
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| Neglecting their pints and their jars
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| The crack it is bad, the atmosphere sad
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| Every man has a face like a mule
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| For all he can do is to grab an old cue
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| And start playing that game of pool
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| Well, when I was a boy it was always me joy
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| To go to the pub each night
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| There were arguments scraps and killings perhaps
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| And everyone thought he was right
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| There were badgers and dogs
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| And men from the bogs
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| And young fellows acting the tool
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| But now there’s no crack
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| For everyman Jack
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| Has his arse in the air playing pool
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| To the local ale house after milking the cows
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| Every customer made his way
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| And there he would dwell and drink till he fell
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| While the fiddles and pipes they did play
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| The jigs and the reels, the rattling of heels
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| Polkas and slides were the rule
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| But now there’s no chance of a tune or a dance
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| For everyone’s playing the ould pool
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| Well, this pool you will find is a game designed
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| For foolish illiterate louts
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| You push in four bob and you pull an old knob
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| And a big shower of balls they come out
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| They’re placed on a table and then if you’re able
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| To knock them all into a hole
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| More money goes in, you start over again
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| And you lose every bob of your dole
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| Now in the Irish Free State
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| All the people are bate
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| From watching and playing this game
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| In their necks they have cricks
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| That no doctor could fix
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| And their backs and their shoulders are maimed
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| Their arses protrude in a manner most lewd
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| From being hoisted aloft in the air
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| And their eyeballs are sore
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| And dripping in gore
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| And they act in a manner most quare
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| So if you meet a young man
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| Who’s face it is wan
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| And his eyes have a vacant stare
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| His jawbone is slack
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| And his head is thrown back
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| And he can’t tell a cob from a mare
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| His nostrils dilated, his brow corrugated
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| His manners like those of a fool
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| On your shirt you can bet
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| That you have just met
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| A man that’s gone plain mad from pool |