| Don’t get married girls, you’ll sign away your life
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| You may start off as a woman but you’ll end up as the wife
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| You could be a vestal virgin, take the veil and be a nun
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| But don’t get married girls for marriage isn’t fun
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| Oh, it’s fine when you’re romancing and he plays the lover’s part
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| You’re the roses in his garden, you’re the flame that warms his heart
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| And his love will last forever and he’ll promise you the moon
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| But just wait until you’re wedded, then he’ll sing a different tune
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| You’re his tapioca pudding, you’re the dumplings in his stew
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| But he’ll soon begin to wonder what he ever saw in you
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| Still he takes without complaining all the dishes you provide
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| For you see he’s got to have his bit of jam tart on the side
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| So don’t get married girls, it’s very badly paid
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| You may start off as the mistress but you’ll end up as the maid
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| Be a daring deep sea diver, be a polished polyglot
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| But don’t get married girls, for marriage is a plot
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| Have you seen him in the morning with a face that looks like death?
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| With dandruff on his pillow and tobacco on his breath
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| And he needs some reassurance with his cup of tea in bed
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| For he’s worried by the mortgage and the bald patch on his head
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| And he’s sure that your his mother, lays his head upon your breast
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| So you try to boost his ego, iron his shirt and warm his vest
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| Then you get him off to work, the mighty hunter is restored
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| And he leaves you there with nothing but the dreams you can’t afford
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| So don’t get married girls, men they’re all the same
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| They just use you when they need you, you’d do better on the game
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| Be a call girl, be a stripper, be a hostess, be a whore
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| But don’t get married girls, for marriage is a bore
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| When he comes home in the evening he can hardly spare a look
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| All he says is «What's for dinner?» |
| After all you’re just the cook
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| But when he takes you to a party, well, he eyes you with a frown
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| For you know you’ve got to look your best, you mustn’t let him down
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| And he’ll clutch you with that «Look-what-I've-got» twinkle in his eyes
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| Like he’s entered for a raffle and he’s won you for the prize
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| Ah, but when the party’s over you’ll be slogging through the sludge
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| Half the time a decoration and the other half a drudge
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| So don’t get married, it’ll drive you round the bend
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| It’s the lane without a turning, it’s the end without an end
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| Take a lover every Friday, take up tennis, be a nurse
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| But don’t get married girls, for marriage is a curse
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| Then you get him off to work, the mighty hunter is restored
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| And he leaves you there with nothing but the dreams you can’t afford |