Lyrics The Surface - Suffocate for Fuck Sake

The Surface

From being home alone with my siblings, we sometimes stayed at our dad‘s home
who‘s met someone new, and then back with our mom.
That period is really dizzy
when I think back about it.
But I know that this is where the anxiety start,
and I felt that there is something wrong with the drinking, and with alcohol.
I was very ashamed and when she started to disappear in the evenings …
at that time you didn‘t have cellphones, only your home phone.
So,
when it rang and someon was looking for my mother, I always said like «…no
she is in th shower, she is in the bath, she is out shopping».
I became her
defense lawyer and I always protected her so I did not have to tell anyone
Thou, apart from being ashamed to death is that I liked the idea of that other
people thought my mother always was funny, always fun-loving and perky.
In that way, I kind of could keep that picture of her somewhere if you didn‘t
«out» her.
So, the surface was always perfect, but inside everything was a mess
A velvet life on the outside
We switch roles
A husk of a mother
Crawling down a pitch black hole
You pray for forgiveness
And laughs it off
Alone in the window
Will you come home?