| Now friends you’d never guess it
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| So I might as well confess it
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| I just met the sweetest woman of my long dismal life
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| And a friend of mine says buddy
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| In case your mind is muddy
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| Don’t you know that girl you’re talkin' to is
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| Peg Leg Johnson’s wife?
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| That man is big and ugly and he’s mean and grim
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| And he’s gonna kick your ass with his artificial limb
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| But next morning bright and early
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| I ran off with Peg Leg’s girlie
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| And I also took his wooden leg just to play it safe
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| But there weren’t no time for laughter
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| Cause he started hoppin' after
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| And I keep on runnin' faster but he won’t give up the chase
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| And I’m running around the mountain with his bride
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| And I got his goddamn leg here by my side
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| And I’m a three-legged man with a two-legged woman
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| Being chased 'round the country by a one-legged fool
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| He’s a hoppin' and a floppin' and he shows
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| No sign of stoppin'
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| And I tell you boys this life is hard and cruel
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| From the mountains and valleys
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| Across the dark Chicago alleys
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| From the Rocky Mountain waters
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| To the hills of Caroline
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| In and out of Pennsylvania
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| Up and down the Allegheny
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| Every time I turn around
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| He is just one foot behind
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| And I know he’s gettin' tired and wet and sick
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| But in spite of all his problems he can’t kick
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| And I’m a three-legged man with a two-legged woman
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| Being chased 'round the country by a one-legged fool
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| He’s a hoppin' and a floppin' and he shows
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| No sign of stoppin'
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| And I tell you boys this life is hard and cruel
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| He must be ragged and filthy by now
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| And I’ve been feeling sorta guilty ever since
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| That morning last week
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| When I heard him plead and beg
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| Says in spite of all your stealin'
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| I won’t bear you any hard feelings
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| I know Margie doesn’t love me, but give me back my leg
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| Because although the leg you meant to take was wooden
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| In the dark there by mistake you took the good one
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| And I’m a three-legged man with a two-legged woman
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| Being chased 'round the country by a one-legged fool
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| He’s a hoppin' and a floppin' and he shows
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| No sign of stoppin'
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| And I tell you boys this life
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| And I tell you boys this life
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| And I tell you boys this life is hard and cruel |