| Step up, step up, step right up
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| Buy your blessings, get your tickets
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| Cures confusion, croup, and rickets
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| Only one blessing per pilgrim per ticket
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| Only one blessing per pilgrim per ticket
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| Only one
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| All for the lame, the halt, and the blind
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| And anyone out of their mind
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| The lame shall saunter, the halt shall run
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| The blind shall look on the light of the sun
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| It’s holy, it’s healthy, it’s easy, it’s fun
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| Count your blessings, get your
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| Only one blessing per pilgrim per ticket
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| Only one
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| Step up, step up, step right-
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| Help
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| Amen
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| Lest be the deaf, the dumb, and the sick
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| And anything else you can pick
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| The deaf shall hear and the dumb shall speak
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| The sick shall find all the sucker they sick
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| Minority groups get a discount this week
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| Step up, step up, step right-
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| Count the suckers
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| Find the blabby one
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| Blessing per pilgrim per ticket
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| Only one-
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| Comfort
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| Amen
|
| Come slake your
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| Spiritual thirst
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| Get kissed
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| Get blessed
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| Get full immersed
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| Get dry
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| Get dressed
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| Put God to the test
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| But do it fast
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| The first shall be first
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| And the last shall be last
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| La la la la la la
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| Rainbow
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| Amen
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| Come all ye fierce, ye frail, and ye pure
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| And any who aren’t too sure
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| The frail shall fight and the fierce be fae
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| The pure shall throw inhibition away
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| If not, well, we’re sorry, you still have to pay
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| You can’t expect miracles every day
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| Step up, step up, step right-
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| Buy your tickets
|
| Light your candles
|
| Blessing per pilgrim per ticket
|
| Only one-
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| Happy
|
| Amen |