| TOBY:
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| Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please?
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| Are your nostrils a quiver and tingling as well at the delicate lashes
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| ambrosial smell?
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| Yes they are I can tell
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| Well, ladies and gentlemen, that aroma enriching the bees
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| Is like nothing compared to its succulent source as the gourmets among you will
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| tell you of course
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| Ladies and gentlemen you can’t imagine the rapture in store
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| Just inside of this door!
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| There you’ll sample Mrs. Lovett’s meat pies
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| savory and sweet pies as you’ll see
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| You, who eat pies Mrs. Lovett’s meat pies
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| conjure up the treat pies used to be MRS. |
| LOVETT:
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| Nice to see you dearie
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| how have you been keeping?
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| Coo m’bounds is weary
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| Toby, one for the gentleman
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| hear the birdies cheeping
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| helps to keep it cheery
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| Toby, throw the old woman out!
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| ENSEMBLE:
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| God, that’s good!
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| MRS. |
| LOVETT:
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| What’s your pleasure dearie?
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| No we don’t cut slices
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| Coo m’eyes is bleary
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| Toby, none for the gentleman!
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| I put up m’prices
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| I’m a little leery
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| Business couldn’t be better now!
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| ENSEMBLE:
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| God, that’s good!
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| MRS. |
| LOVETT:
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| Knock on wood!
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| SWEENEY: Psst!
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| MRS. |
| LOVETT: Excuse me SWEENEY: Psst!
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| MRS. |
| LOVETT: Dear, see to the customers
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| SWEENEY: Psst!
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| MRS. |
| LOVETT: Yes? |
| What love? |
| Quick, though the trade is brisk
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| SWEENEY: But its six o clock
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| MRS. |
| LOVETT: So its six o clock
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| SWEENEY: It was due to arrive at a quarter to five and its six o clock!
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| I’ve been waiting all day
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| but it should have been here by now
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| MRS. |
| LOVETT: and its probably already down the block it will be here,
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| it will be here have a pitcher of beer and it should’ve been here by now now
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| ENSEMBLE:
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| More hot pies!
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| MRS. |
| LOVETT:
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| Will you wait there cooling
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| 'Cause my customers truly are getting unruly
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| SWEENEY: You come back when it comes!
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| MRS. |
| LOVETT:
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| and what’s your pleasure dearie?
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| Oops I beg your pardon
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| Just m’hands are smeary
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| Toby, run for the gentleman
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| down to Lover Garden
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| always makes me teary
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| must be one of them foreigners
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| ENSEMBLE:
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| God, that’s good! |
| That is delicious!
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| MRS. |
| LOVETT:
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| What’s my secret?
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| Frankly dear, forgive my can of firmly secret all to do with herbs
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| things like being
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| careful with your curry and that’s what makes the gravy grander
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| ENSEMBLE:
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| More hot pies! |
| More hot, more pies!
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| SWEENEY: Psst!
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| MRS. |
| LOVETT: Excuse me SWEENEY: Psst!
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| MRS. |
| LOVETT: Dear, see to the customers
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| SWEENEY: Psst!
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| MRS. |
| LOVETT: What now, love? |
| Quick, though the trade is brisk
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| SWEENEY: But its here
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| MRS. |
| LOVETT: Its where?
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| SWEENEY: Coming up the stair
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| MRS. |
| LOVETT: I’ll get rid of the slaughters they’re still pretty hott it will
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| soon be there
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| SWEENEY: It’s about to be open to don’t you care?
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| MRS. |
| LOVETT: No Ill be there, I will be there but then none will get sold if I let them get cold
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| SWEENEY: But we have to prepare!
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| MRS. |
| LOVETT:
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| Oh and incidentally dearie
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| you know Mrs. Mooney
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| sales have been so dreary
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| Toby, poor thing is penniless
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| What about that loony?
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| Lookin sort of beery
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| Oh well go get them upinsin that will be thruppinsin
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| ENSEMBLE:
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| God, that’s good! |
| That is de-have-u-licious at the tasty smell such oh my god
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| what’s more that pie’s good
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| ooh ooh ooh
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| ooh ooh ooh
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| SWEENEY: Is this a chair fit for a king?
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| How wondrous meet and most particular chair
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| MRS.LOVETT: Its gorgeous, its gorgeous
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| SWEENEY: You tell me where is a seat can half compare with this particular thing
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| MRS. |
| LOVETT: Its perfect, its gorgeous
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| SWEENEY: I have a few minor adjustments
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| MRS. |
| LOVETT: You make your few minor adjustments
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| SWEENEY: to make
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| they’ll take
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| MRS. |
| LOVETT: You take, your time
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| SWEENEY: a moment
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| MRS. |
| LOVETT: I’ll go see to the customers
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| SWEENEY: I’ll call you
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| I have another friend
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| TOBY:
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| Is that a pie fit for a king?
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| Oh wondrous sweet and most particular thing
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| MRS. |
| LOVETT: Its gorgeous its gorgeous
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| TOBY: You see maam why there is no meat pie can compete with this delectable pie
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| MRS. |
| LOVETT: Its perfect its gorgeous
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| TOBY: The crust all velvety and wavy
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| MRS. |
| LOVETT: The crust all velvety and wavy
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| TOBY: that glaze, those crimps
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| MRS. |
| LOVETT: That glaze, those crimps
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| TOBY: and then the thick succulent gravy
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| SWEENEY: Then down they go The cellar waits below |
| TOBY: one whiff will make me glimpse
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| a wonder that we surrender
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| SWEENEY: On with, the show
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| SWEENEY: Psst!
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| MRS. |
| LOVETT: Excuse me SWEENEY: Psst!
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| MRS. |
| LOVETT: Dear, see to the customers
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| SWEENEY: Psst!
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| MRS. |
| LOVETT: All set, love?
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| SWEENEY: Hear me MRS. |
| LOVETT: My heart’s a flutter
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| SWEENEY: When I pound the floor
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| MRS. |
| LOVETT: When you pound the floor
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| SWEENEY: Its a signal to show that they’re ready to go when I pound the floor
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| MRS. |
| LOVETT: Yes I know you told me you’d be ready to go when you pound the
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| floor!
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| Will you trust me? |
| Will you trust me?
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| SWEENEY: I just want to be sure
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| MRS. |
| LOVETT: I’ll be waiting below for the whistle to blow
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| SWEENEY: when I’m certain that you’re in place
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| I’ll pound three times
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| three times
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| To warn you
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| three times
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| that means
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| ENSEMBLE:
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| Exactly more hot pies! |
| God!
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| More hot! |
| right! |
| More pies! |
| More! |
| Right!
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| MRS. |
| LOVETT:
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| How about it dearie?
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| be here in a twinkling
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| just confirms my theory
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| Toby, god wash this off of here
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| sit and have an inkling
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| Toby, throw the old woman out
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| TOBY: (at same time as MRS. LOVETT)
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| Is that a pie fit for a king?
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| Oh wondrous sweet and most delectable thing
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| you see maam why there is no meat pie
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| ENSEMBLE:
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| God, that’s good! |
| That is de-have-u-licious at the tasty smell such oh my god
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| what’s perfect more that pies such flavor God
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| that’s good! |