| If you don’t golf that’s okay
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| You can be a tiger anyway
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| Laugh through your teeth when things gets tough
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| Or your balls are gonna wind up in the rough, yeah yeah
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| If you wanna be like Tiger Woods
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| Fertilize the ladies in the neighbourhood
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| Get real rich and you will find
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| All the hot chicks will want to grind
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| If you wanna be like Tiger Woods
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| Grip that shaft like you know you should
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| Get a platinum card, it will be all good
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| The girls will want you just like Tiger Woods
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| Remember this when you’re having fun
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| Three holes are better than a hole in one, yeah
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| If the word gets out don’t be afraid
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| When a 9 iron’s heading for your Escalade, yeah yeah
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| If you wanna be like Tiger Woods
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| Filling all the divots in the neighbourhood
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| Don’t think about those three foot putts
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| You cover your tracks when you’re banging them sluts
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| If you wanna be like Tiger Woods
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| Text messages are never good
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| Nail a girl at the driving range
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| Your life will change, just like Tiger Woods
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| Have your best friend book all your flights
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| Tell your wife that you’re golfing nights
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| Get a call girl and maybe just chill
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| Be willing to part with a hundred mil
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| Bang a new porn star every day
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| Tell your sponsors it will be okay
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| Surprise them all with an invitation
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| To a viewing of your first double penetration, yeah
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| If you wanna be like Tiger Woods
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| Poking all the holes in the neighbourhood
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| Tell your wife how it’s gonna be
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| Your driver is community property
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| If you wanna be like Tiger Woods
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| Brett Favre did it, so you know you could
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| Become the king of your neighbourhood
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| Like Steel Panther and Tiger Woods
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| Just like Tiger Woods, oh yeah yeah |