| Well after all, Pickering
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| I’m an ordinary man
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| Who desires nothing more than an ordinary chance
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| To live exactly as he likes, and do precisely what he wants…
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| An average man am I, of no eccentric whim
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| Who likes to live his life, free of strife
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| Doing whatever he thinks is best, for him
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| Well… just an ordinary man…
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| BUT, Let a woman in your life
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| And your serenity is through
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| She’ll redecorate your home
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| From the cellar to the dome
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| And then go on to the enthralling fun of overhauling you…
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| Let a woman in your life
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| And you’re up against a wall
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| Make a plan and you will find
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| That she has something else in mind
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| And so rather than do either you do something else that neither likes at all
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| You want to talk of Keats and Milton, she only wants to talk of love
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| You go to see a play or ballet, and spend it searching for her glove
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| Let a woman in your life and you invite eternal strife
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| Let them buy their wedding bands for those anxious little hands…
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| I’d be equally as willing for a dentist to be drilling than to ever let
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| A woman in my life
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| I’m a very gentle man, even tempered and good natured who you never hear
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| complain
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| Who has the milk of human kindness by the quart in every vein
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| A patient man am I, down to my fingertips
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| The sort who never could, ever would, let an insulting remark escape his lips
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| Very gentle man…
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| But, Let a woman in your life, and patience hasn’t got a chance
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| She will beg you for advice
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| Your reply will be concise, and she will listen very nicely
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| And then go out and do exactly what she wants!!!
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| You are a man of grace and polish, who never spoke above a hush
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| All at once you’re using language that would make a sailor blush
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| Let a woman in your life, and you’re plunging in a knife
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| Let the others of my sex, tie the knot around their necks
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| I prefer a new edition of the Spanish Inquisition than to ever let a
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| Woman in my life
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| I’m a quiet living man
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| Who prefers to spend the evening in the silence of his room
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| Who likes an atmosphere as restful as an undiscovered tomb
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| A pensive man am I, of philosophical joys
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| Who likes to meditate, contemplate, far for humanities mad inhuman noise
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| Quiet living man…
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| But, let a woman in your life, and your sabbatical is through
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| In a line that never ends comes an army of her friends
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| Come to jabber and to chatter and to tell her what the matter is with YOU!
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| She’ll have a booming boisterous family
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| Who will descend on you en mass
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| She’ll have a large Wagnerian mother, with a voice that shatters glass
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| Let a woman in your life, Let a woman in your life, Let a woman in your life
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| I shall never let a woman in my life |