| You work 689 days in a row
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| 6 shows a day
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| 15 Minute breaks
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| Is that showbiz?
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| No matter how bad you feel
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| You could have a fever and the dry heaves
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| From that left handed cigarette
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| And shot of old crow you did between the first and secon show
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| You could have a social disease you caught
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| From some platinum blonde bombshell in Boise
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| You could feel bad because you lost your wallet, your dog, your best friend
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| Or even your wife
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| And no matter how bad you feel
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| When those house lights go down
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| A smile lights up your face
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| Why? |
| 'cause that’s showbiz
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| You work, practice, woodshed
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| Suffer for your craft
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| Do the old soft shoe till your feet bleed
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| Sing mammy till your throat swells
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| All the while smiling though your face hurts
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| You do this for ten years
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| And the day after the back page of some local rag says your great
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| You see somebody better, and younger than yourself
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| And he closes the show with a gag he stole from you
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| And that’s showbiz
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| You reward? |
| A fast car you never get to drive
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| Ex-wives and kids who do interviews with the scandal sheets
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| A long cool broad who loves you for your name and your name only
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| This afternoon’s pizza backstage of some dive you’ve played a hundred times
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| before
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| Where rats the size of a loaf of bread climb the walls and run the pipes
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| Where the same drunk crudely delivers the same insults that you counter
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| The same way every night
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| Except your delivery is a little different, and the people laugh
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| That’s showbiz
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| Your up for the part of leading man in a full length feature film
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| And after you read, you get a part
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| One lousy line in a scene where you play the school janitor
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| So you say you’re line with all the pizzaz and intensity of a Bogey
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| Or an Edward G
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| And that’s showbiz
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| So I say to all the little people
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| Who spit shined and polished
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| My long and jagged trail to the top, «Thank you.»
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| For without you, the little people, I would not be where I am today
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| It is truly you who are, showbiz
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| Come on! |
| Give youself a round of applause
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| The little people! |
| Give it up! |
| Yeah!
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| Please look for me in a new T.V. mini series drama
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| Where I portray myself in the story of my life
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| Simply entitled «That's Showbiz.»
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| Thank you! |
| You’ve been a wonderful audience!
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| I love you and remember
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| That’s showbiz! |
| Good night! |