| Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '99
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| If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
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| It. |
| The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
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| Scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
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| Than my own meandering
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| Experience… I will dispense this advice now. |
| Enjoy the power and beauty of your
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| youth; |
| oh nevermind; |
| you will not
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| Understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded
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| But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
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| Recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
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| You and how fabulous you really looked… You're not as fat as you
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| Imagine. |
| Don’t worry about the future; |
| or worry, but know that worrying is as
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| Effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
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| Bubblegum. |
| The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
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| Never crossed your worried mind; |
| the kind that blindside you at 4pm
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| On some idle Tuesday. |
| Do one thing everyday that scares you Sing Don’t be
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| reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with
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| People who are reckless with yours. |
| Floss Don’t waste your time on jealousy;
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| sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes
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| You’re behind… the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with
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| Yourself. |
| Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; |
| if you
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| Succeed in doing this, tell me how. |
| Keep your old love letters, throw away your
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| old bank statements. |
| Stretch Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want
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| to do with your
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| Life… the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
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| Wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
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| Olds I know still don’t. |
| Get plenty of calcium. |
| Be kind to your knees,
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| you’ll miss them when they’re gone. |
| Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t,
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| maybe you’ll have children, maybe
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| You won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
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| Chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary… what ever you do, don’t
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| Congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either — your
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| Choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. |
| Enjoy your body
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| Use it every way you can… don't be afraid of it, or what other people
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| Think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever
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| Own. |
| Dance… even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
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| Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them. |
| Do NOT read beauty
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| magazines, they will only make you feel ugly. |
| Get to know your parents,
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| you never know when they’ll be gone for
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| Good. |
| Be nice to your siblings; |
| they are the best link to your past and the
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| People most likely to stick with you in the future. |
| Understand that friends
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| come and go, but for the precious few you
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| Should hold on. |
| Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
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| Lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
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| Knew when you were young. |
| Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes
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| you hard; |
| live
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| In Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. |
| Travel.
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| Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will
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| Philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize
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| That when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were
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| Noble and children respected their elders. |
| Respect your elders. |
| Don’t expect
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| anyone else to support you. |
| Maybe you have a trust fund
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| Maybe you have a wealthy spouse; |
| but you never know when either one
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| Might run out. |
| Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you’re 40,
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| it will
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| Look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
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| Supply it. |
| Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
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| Fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
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| Ugly parts and recycling it for more than
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| It’s worth. |
| But trust me on the sunscreen… |