| The water is deep, the current is strong
 | 
| If you jump in the Thames you will die.
 | 
| Oh.
 | 
| You want to die.
 | 
| If you jump into the Thames it will merely cause permanent
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| Damage to your spinal cord.
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| Look, if it helps, I never liked you.
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| Most things you do are basically harmful.
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| But I don’t want to see you die.
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| What should you do? | 
| What can I say?
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| Please don’t jump, Mr Cameron
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| Don’t tumble to a watery grave
 | 
| You mustn’t take to heart that you’ve made a rotten start
 | 
| And the people cry: «We all hate Dave»
 | 
| Though your party is turning against you
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| And the voters think that you’re a prick
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| You’re out of opposition and you’ve formed a coalition
 | 
| So simply put the blame on Nick.
 | 
| Turn around, Mr Cameron
 | 
| It’s sad to see you so upset
 | 
| Though it makes you feel a bitch putting taxes on the rich
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| They will help to clear the national debt.
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| There are hard times ahead but remember
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| What a pain it is to drown
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| So remember what you’re for, give the finger to the poor
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| And blame it all on Gordon Brown.
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| Take my hand, Mr Cameron
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| Don’t be blue that you are Tory scum
 | 
| Though the carbon in the sky means the polar bears will die
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| You will save them with uranium
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| When your world falls to pieces around you
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| Remember you’re a millionaire.
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| When the soldiers die at war, just do what you did before
 | 
| And blame it all on Tony Blair.
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| Walk this way, Mr Cameron
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| Go back to your home and fight
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| You shall live another day — but there’s something in your way:
 | 
| It’s those nutters on the Tory Right.
 | 
| There’s a girl and you could imitate her
 | 
| In evil you could even match her:
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| Get your party back on side and increase the class divide
 | 
| And blame it all on Margaret Thatcher.
 | 
| Blame it all on Margaret Thatcher
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| «Smash the Unions!»
 | 
| Blame it all on Margaret Thatcher
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| «Deregulate the banks!»
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| Blame it all on Margaret Thatcher
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| Thatcher, Thatcher, Thatcher, Thatcher. |