| I had a little cheeseburger, he was my only friend
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| I took him to the picture house and loved him til the end
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| I had a Venus flytrap on my windowsill
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| And he ate all the flies that came in my room
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| Please don’t tread on my cheeseburger
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| He’s my only friend in the whole wide world
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| Please don’t tread on my cheeseburger
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| Or I’d have to cut your head off with a blunt chainsaw
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| I had a little doughnut, I ate him for my tea
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| I put him in the microwave ad I burned my mouth on the jam
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| I stole a child’s accordion and used it to do this:
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| But then mein father broke it and it damaged all his face
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| Please don’t tread on my cheeseburger
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| He’s my only friend in the whole wide world
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| Please don’t tread on my cheeseburger
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| Or I’d have to wipe the remnants of the ketchup on your face
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| Please don’t tread on my venus flytrap, he’s my only friend in the whole wide
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| world!
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| He was little, and green, and he kept me safe from flies:
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| But then I forgot to water him, and he died and
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| It was very very sad
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| Please don’t tread on my cheeseburger
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| He’s my only friend in the whole wide world
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| How would you like it if I stole your television
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| And I gave it to a wizard in exchange for magic beans?
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| Please don’t tread on my cheeseburger
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| He’s my only friend in the whole wide world
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| Please don’t tread on my cheeseburger
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| Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
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| Ha ha ha ha ha
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| Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
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| Ha ha ha ha ha
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| HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
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| Oh Oh Oh No |