| English is the most widely spoken language in the history of the planet
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| One out of every seven human beings can speak or read it
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| Half the world’s books, ¾ of the international mail are in English
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| It has the largest vocabulary, perhaps two million words
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| And a noble body of literature. |
| But face it:
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| English is cuh-ray-zee!
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| Just a few examples: There’s no egg in eggplant, no pine or apple in pineapple
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| Quicksand works slowly; |
| boxing rings are square
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| A writer writes, but do fingers fing?
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| Hammers don’t ham, grocers don’t groce. |
| Haberdashers don’t haberdash
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| English is cuh-ray-zee!
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| If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn’t the plural of booth be beeth?
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| It’s one goose, two geese. |
| Why not one moose, two meese?
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| If it’s one index, two indices; |
| why not one Kleenex, two Kleenices?
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| English is cuh-ray-zee!
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| You can comb through the annals of history, but not just one annal
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| You can make amends, but not just one amend
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| If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one,
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| is it an odd or an end?
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| If the teacher taught, why isn’t it true that a preacher praught?
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| If you wrote a letter, did you also bote your tongue?
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| And if a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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| English is cuh-ray-zee!
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| Why is it that night falls but never breaks and day breaks but never falls?
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| In what other language do people drive on the parkway and park on the driveway?
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| Ship by truck but send cargo by ship? |
| Recite at a play but play at a recital?
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| Have noses that run and feet that smell?
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| English is cuh-ray-zee!
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| How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same
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| When a wise man and a wise guy are very different?
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| To overlook something and to oversee something are very different
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| But quite a lot and quite a few are the same
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| How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell the next?
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| English is cuh-ray-zee!
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| You have to marvel at the lunacy of a language in which your house can burn down
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| While it is burning up. |
| You fill out a form by filling it in
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| In which your alarm clock goes off by going on
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| If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress?
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| Well, English was invented by people, not computers
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| And reflects the creativity of the human race
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| So that’s why when the stars are out, they’re visible
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| But when the lights are out, they’re invisible
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| When I wind up my watch I start it, but when I wind up this rap
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| I end it. |
| English is cuh-ray-zee! |
Song information On this page you can find the lyrics of the song English Is Cuh-ray-zee, artist - Pete Seeger. Album song Seeds: The Songs Of Pete Seeger, Volume 3, in the genre Музыка мира