| Sugar-coated girlfriends don’t mean anything to me
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| This song’s about a girl who’s soft and warm and cheap
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| When I held her close to me she melted right away
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| Velveeta was her name
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| Velveeta, Velveeta, Velveeta…
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| All my friends keep telling me
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| «Frank, you must be sick
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| How can you have fun with a gooey processed chick?»
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| But she’s much more than that
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| She’s got a heart of gold
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| And she does what she’s told
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| Velveeta, Velveeta, Velveeta…
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| I want to tell her that I’ll never go away
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| But she keeps showing me her expiration date
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| Girls may come, girls may go, but I know one thing for sure
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| They stock Velveeta at the local grocery store
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| And she’ll be on the shelf until the end of time
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| When we have to say goodbye
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| Velveeta, Velveeta, Velveeta… |