| The simple men live the simple life in big log cabins
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| They’re best of friends with a simpleton and a horse called Dobbins
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| Their yards resound with the simple sound of blackbirds and robins
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| And their wives make simple samplers with thimbles and bobbins
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| We envy them, the simple men
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| The simple men we envy them
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| We envy the simple men
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| They’re terribly superstitious, fear the ghost and the gollum
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| They sit in a chair in the mountain air and breathe in the pollen
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| Their tweeds and plaids are homespun adorned with a sporran
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| They’re always at war with the valley folk because they are foreign
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| We envy them, the simple men
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| The simple men we envy them
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| We envy the simple men
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| Funny how it seems the more that we evolve
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| The more the basic problems of our lives get solved
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| The more we yearn for harder, simpler times back when
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| We envy them, the simple men
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| Their pigs have lice and their rats have mice and their dogs have rabies
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| They dig in the muck to make graves they mark with the names of their babies
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| They beat their wives, it serves them right it’s in Deuteronomy
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| And for their simple daughters they reserve clitorectomy
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| We envy them, the simple men
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| The simple men we envy them
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| We envy the simple men
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| Funny how the symbols of humanity
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| Turn out to be the images of brutality
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| Projecting soul on the soulless again
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| We envy them, the simple men |