| I follow a totally uncharismatic guru
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| (Electric automatic guru)
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| He told me Stephanie be wonderful
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| Be who you want to be
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| And do the things you want to do
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| (Electric guru)
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| I gave all my money
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| To my uncharismatic guru
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| (Automatic uncharismatic guru)
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| But Mummy don’t worry
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| I know what he’s trying to do
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| (Bugaboo, bugaboo guru)
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| Oh he doesn’t fool me, with one look
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| I can see right through
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| (My automatic uncharismatic guru)
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| But I would still buy
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| If he tried to sell me the moon
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| (The fool -- sell you the moon!)
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| I have fallen in love with my uncharismatic guru
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| (I love you, I love you guru)
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| Because that was exactly the thing
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| That he seemed to expect me to do
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| (My guru)
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| (My automatic uncharismatic guru)
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| (The fool)
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| He thinks he’s a charlatan
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| Thinks I’m a naive fool
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| (My laughable, loveable guru)
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| In fact it’s the other way round
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| Who fooled who?
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| (More fool you, guru!)
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| He told me Stephanie Pappas
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| To thine own self be true
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| (Do as I say, not as I do)
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| All that seems to be you’s really me
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| And all that seems to be me is really me too
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| So I went to bed
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| With my uncharismatic guru
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| It seemed to be simply the right thing to do
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| When I’d given him my money, my soul and my body
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| I did it to make him feel better
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| And I’d just like to say
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| I only wish my guru could have been a better lay
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| Hey |