| I found a video on my porch
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| Put it on the VCR
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| It told me to go to the forest
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| And play my guitar
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| The forest is a dangerous place
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| You take your life in your hands
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| There are wild animals
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| Marking trees with marker glands
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| I’ve got a deer wife
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| A deer wife
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| Keep it to yourself
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| So I went to the forest
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| With my guitar and my bag
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| And there I found a doe
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| Surrounded by stags
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| Well the stags did rut and yowl
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| Jab at me with antlers and with hooves
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| But that doe chose me
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| Whatcha gonna do?
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| I’ve got a deer wife
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| A deer wife
|
| Keep it to yourself
|
| I’ve got a deer wife
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| And a battle for survival
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| Rooting for acorns and berries
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| And fending off my rivals
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| But one day I will be
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| Monarch of this glen
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| Mark the trees not with glands
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| But with a Krink pen
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| I’ve got a deer wife
|
| A deer wife
|
| Keep it to yourself |