| Word comes down on the party line
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| All the suckers on the grapevine are saying:
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| 'Look out boys, here come the Capes and Sticks!'
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| And they jitter with the funk down Bulblight Lane
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| When the phone in the phonebox rings again
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| And it’s the Cape and Stick Gang saying 'Just hang around
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| And we’ll stick it to you quick!'
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| We’re the Cape and Stick Boys
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| Whistling Lillie Langtry
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| How we laugh when we hear them sigh
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| The girls who never catch our eye
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| Wear capes and carry sticks
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| And the gang is gay
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| And the rookie’s in the alley with his home-made drag in a polythene bag
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| And the rookie say 'Uh oh, looks like I got out the wrong side of my bed today!'
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| Cos the Capes and Sticks are waiting for him
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| And they pierce his ears with a safety pin
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| And the rookie’s trying to laugh it off saying
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| 'I was thinking of doing that anyway'
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| They mount a double-decker with their Lyons Maids
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| Sit down on either side of a girl with braids
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| With too much lipstick on her too-thin lips
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| And a handbag made of lizard
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| And the Cape in front of her charms her
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| Smiles in her face and disarms her
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| And when they kiss the Stick behind her
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| Cut off her braids with a pair of folding scissors
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| Singing:
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| We’re the Cape and Stick Boys
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| Lillie is our heroine
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| We play pool all through the air raid
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| Rape machines in the game arcade
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| Wear capes and carry sticks
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| And the gang is gay
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| Well they don’t need knives for their sweet attacks
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| Just the sticks they keep down the front of their slacks
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| Big as a family heirloom, Daddy’s randy hand me-down
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| And for a couple of crowns they’ll take you to the docks
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| Whistling Lillie as they pull out their cocks
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| Drag you to the top of the gantry
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| Dangle you fifty feet above the ground, singing:
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| We’re the Cape and Stick Boys
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| Whistling Lillie Langtry
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| How we laugh when we hear them sigh
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| The girls who never catch our eye
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| Wear capes and carry sticks
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| And the gang is gay
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| And on every man’s hip there’s a thermos flask
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| If you want a sip all you’ve got to do is ask
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| Maybe it’s bromide tea or maybe ecstasy
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| They kiss the girls and make them cry
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| Then they kiss the boys, they’re real bi-guys
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| And we’ve all got to die some way, some day
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| You follow me? |