| I was created in the fleshpots of Araby
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| My mother was the Emperor’s secretary
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| My father, a notorious libertine
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| Escaped from Sodom and Gomorrah, the cities of the plain
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| You can read my family’s rise and fall in Gibbon
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| I was born to be adored by women
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| Well Seth begat Clem and then Clem begat Ruth
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| And then Ruth begat me and all hell broke loose
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| The tribes all began to multiply and boom
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| And, looking at their kids, no-one knew from whom
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| The beautiful things kept springing
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| I was born to be adored by women
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| My hair is long, distinguished, prematurely grey
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| I’ve got a mouth like Ernest Hemingway’s ashtray
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| I’ve fathered 103 illegitimate kids
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| I’ve never met a mother I couldn’t bed
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| I love children, spiders, snakes, and anything living
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| I was born to be adored by women
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| Some guys can erect garden furniture
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| That must be what God invented husbands for
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| But if you need a milk chocolate in the shape of a man
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| If you need a chunk of marzipan the size of Taiwan
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| Look up the chimney, see what Santa’s bringing
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| I was born to be adored by women
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| Well I know I’m always late since my watch got sold
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| But I’m worth the wait, the weight in gold
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| After God made me, they broke the mould
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| And I’ve broken all the records with that old song
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| Bold girls are so fond of singing
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| I was born to be adored by women
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| Well my favourite bird is the cuckoo, punk
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| My favourite beast the funky skunk
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| My favourite colour is the emerald green
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| Chuck the football king goes when his beauty queen
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| Comes to me when she’s chucked him in
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| I was born to be adored by women
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| What I don’t know about love technique
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| You could scribble in biro on the balls of your feet
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| I never wear underwear, I drive a dead beat Landrover
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| In my bare feet stark naked, there’s always one more river to go swim in
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| I was born to be adored by women |