Song information On this page you can find the lyrics of the song Beowulf (I Am Deformed), artist - Momus. Date of issue: 31.12.2002
Song language: English
Beowulf (I Am Deformed) |
| I have come with my sword Naegling |
| And the usual aches and pains |
| To defeat Grendel, the monster |
| Lately scourge of the Danes |
| Showing no mercy in the mead hall |
| He laid waste thirty thanes |
| In return I will chop off his shoulder |
| Then I will deal with his mother |
| Where is the disabled loo? |
| I’m feeling slightly queasy, woozy |
| So would you if you’d had to do |
| The things I’ve had to do |
| Slay the good, slay the bad |
| Do I have the right to use the disabled loos? |
| Did they send the right man from the land of heroes? |
| Stop laughing, I am Beowulf |
| I give you my oath, as I was born |
| I am Beowulf |
| I am the hero coming to save you |
| I am deformed |
| Cancer gubbins that hangs at my neck like a turkey throat |
| Swaddling leather trussing up a shrivelled belly bloat |
| Dangling from my orifice is a puzzling speculum drip |
| If you promise not to tell anyone I have a hare lip |
| A smoking hole and a very large mole |
| My face it slithers, my ears are torn |
| Don’t laugh, I am deformed |
| Stop laughing, I am Beowulf |
| I give you my oath, as I was born |
| I am Beowulf |
| I am the hero coming to save you |
| I am deformed |
| So go ahead, laugh, you won’t be the first |
| Richard the Hundredth, the Hunchback laughed |
| Henry Dalrymple the simpleton convulsed with mirth |
| At this sick rubber joke my bones as they poke out of a hole in my skin |
| At this helplessly flailing mutant apalling prosthetic thalydomide limb |
| Have a good laugh while you’re at it at my schlong |
| My metallic foot brace it scratches and drags |
| I dribble down a twig |
| I twitch along the ground |
| My Breugel boots they beggar belief |
| I have the stinky shanks of a hound |
| My patchy moustache hides a birthmark |
| I have come to save Denmark |
| Stop laughing, I am Beowulf |
| I give you my oath, as I was born |
| I am Beowulf |
| I am the hero I’ve come to save you |
| And I am deformed |